Texting is one of the best ways that you can pique the interest of a potential partner. Of course, that can be easier said than done. Keep in mind that men don’t always like texting as much as women do. That means keeping the conversation going and keeping their interest can be a challenge at times. Here are a few tips on how to keep the conversation going by text until you can actually meet up in person.
- Let him join the conversation. I know that not all guys love texting, but that doesn’t mean you have to dominate the conversation and act as if he’s not even a part of it. Try to get him engaged and make him carry a bit of that weight sometimes. If he doesn’t, perhaps he’s not all that interested in the first place. If it’s too one-sided, he could start to lose interest, even if you think he likes you. Try asking him questions to get him talking about himself and he’ll start to enjoy the chat a lot more. This is one of the easiest and best ways to keep a text conversation going, simple as that.
- Ask flirty questions. Ideally, you’ll ask him open-ended questions to help keep the conversation going, but you should try to add some personality and some flirtatiousness to your questions too. That can help to spice up some of the more mundane questions and conversation topics to make things more enjoyable from his perspective. If you can show that you can be fun and flirty via text, he’ll be more interested in wanting to talk to you.
- Know when to stop. Your instincts might say that you should always try to keep the conversation going, but part of keeping a guy’s interest is knowing when to stop. It doesn’t always help to force things. Even if it’s a fun convo, put it on pause as soon as it starts to lose momentum. Just tell him that you have to go and that you’ll pick things up later. This will help to keep him intrigued and make him look forward to texting with you again.
- Proofread every text. For most guys, poor grammar in texts isn’t going to be a dealbreaker. However, you should still proofread every text before hitting send. If nothing else, make sure that your text makes sense. If he’s confused when reading it, he may not know how to respond, and that’ll be the end of the conversation. If one word is wrong, that’s fine, but if it gets too sloppy, he won’t know what you’re trying to say. This gives him the option of giving up on the convo, which isn’t what you want. Don’t let that happen because of a small oversight.
- Send only positive messages. If you’re only texting with a guy, there’s a good chance that he’s not your boyfriend. That means you shouldn’t be venting or dumping your problems on him unless he says it’s okay. If he doesn’t know you that well, he probably doesn’t want to hear you complain. That could also give him the wrong impression of you. Instead, keep things light and positive and try to talk about things that will keep him interested rather than making him feel bad because you’re had a rough day.
More ways to keep a conversation going by text
- Focus on him. Let’s face it, most people prefer to talk about themselves, including guys. If you want a guy to enjoy your text convo and keep it going, let him do just that. Get him to talk about himself and the things that interest him. Of course, it also helps if you’re interested in those things as well. Guys like knowing that you’re curious about them. This will make them want to share more and keep the convo going. Plus, you should be using texting as a way to get to know him better anyway.
- Take your time. I assure you that guys are not overanalyzing how long it takes you to reply to each text. I’ve heard that some women do this, but I promise not many guys do the same unless they’re super insecure. You don’t have to go out of the way to text back right away to keep the conversation going. I mean, just don’t take three days to reply. Plus, you don’t want to seem too available and get in the habit of always texting back right away. In fact, taking your time will let him anticipate and look forward to your response, keeping him hooked.
- Get creative. If you want to keep a guy hooked, you have to think outside the box. Most guys get tired of having the same old text conversation they’ve had with countless girls before. You have to do something different. Find questions that are unique (without being too weird) that he hasn’t been asked before. It’ll keep the convo interesting and keep him texting back. This will show him that you have a fun personality. It’ll also show him that you’re different than anyone he’s met before, which can’t hurt either.
- Have a point. While there’s nothing wrong with checking in to see how he’s doing, if you want to keep a text conversation going for more than a few sentences, you need to have something real to say. “Get clear about your own motives for starting the conversation,” couples’ therapist Alicia Muñoz, LPC, suggests. “Are you motivated by pure curiosity? A desire to get to know someone better? A desire to build a stronger friendship?” Whatever it is you’re reaching out for, keep it in mind so that you’re not making pointless conversation.
- Focus on shared interests. If you’re super into scrapbooking, that’s great, but if he’s not, he’s really not going to want to listen to you waffle on about the new washi tape you got at the stationery store last weekend. To keep a conversation going via text, your best bet is to chat about the stuff you know you’re both into, like Stranger Things or your love of Anthony Bourdain or whatever. If you can engage him on things he’s passionate or knowledgable about, you’re good. “If there’s a moment to find synergy with a person, meaning shared likes and beliefs, that’s always a good way to go,” says Holly Richmond, Ph.D., LMFT, CST.