Reciprocated love and affection is the best form of love. It’s equal and it’s responsive, and it can grow and evolve with us within the relationship. That’s why it is so important to keep the physical side of things healthy too. For some, it’s the focal point and the culmination of all your attention, but for other people, it’s less important. Either way, when you want to express your feelings for your guy clearly, here’s how to kiss him like you mean it and do it so well, he won’t be able to think of anything else.
- Get consent. Take your time. Try to read the room and see where his head is at. If you feel like things are going too fast or you just think he expects you to kiss him, take a minute. Think about what you want out of things and that will enable you to feel comfortable and at peace. Otherwise, you won’t be able to enjoy the moment. Establishing consent early on will make sure you’re both on the same page. Plus, it’ll make it easier to discuss and build communication into your physical relationship too, rather than feeling like an awkward barrier. Used correctly, communication and consent build and develops intimacy rather than cordoning it off. Consent isn’t weird and anyone who says otherwise is ridiculous.
- Set the scene. This is where you can impress guys and make them feel special. Dim the lights, light a candle, and make sure you have clean sheets. It might be the bare minimum, but hey, the bar is on the floor. Scratch that, it’s six feet under. While you’re at it, check that your house is unoccupied. Nothing cuts through the mood quite like an unannounced roommate returning home when things are getting exciting. You’ll know what your guy is into and what gets him in a romantic mood, so go for that.
- Put in the effort. Make sure you feel clean and comfortable. Have a shower before if you have planned a date and it’ll be one less thing to think about. That said, don’t stress about feeling unclean or whatever — human bodies are natural and perfect. Physical relationships are all about intimacy and trust, even just with kissing. Don’t think you have to be perfect on the first try. Everyone gets better at kissing, trust me. Each relationship is different too. Different techniques bear different fruits.
- Care about him. It makes a difference if you’re already invested in the person you’re kissing. I know lots of people like casual flings and just having fun. There’s absolutely value in doing that, but it’s undeniable that it feels better when you actually like the dude. You don’t need to be head over heels to kiss the guy, but if you want to know how to do it well, start with the feelings behind it.
- Make eye contact. There’s something particularly sexy and attractive about looking someone in the eye to assert that you like them. It shows confidence and courage. You don’t have to know everything going into it, but by taking the jump, you’ll at least start on that process. Everyone has to start somewhere. Don’t put pressure on yourself. If you like him, look into his eyes. This shouldn’t be all that uncomfortable to do and it should convey exactly what’s on your mind.
- Be intentional. Asking for consent and checking in with your partner doesn’t mean that you’re not also ready to go for it once you have the green light. You can be direct. Assert what you want and see what they want. If he gives you the signals that he’s desperate for you to lay it on him, give it all you’ve got and go for it.
- Read his body language. Use the surfaces around you to spice things up and relax. Go with the flow and try not to overthink it. Kissing is fun and an opportunity to unwind. Don’t think of it as something to ‘win’ or ‘lose’. The only rule when it comes to knowing how to kiss a guy well is to enjoy yourself and try new things.
- Find a rhythm. You can work together as a unit and figure out what feels good when you kiss your crush. Don’t storm in guns blazing. Read the room. Experiment as you go and stop if it stops being fun. Be kind to yourself and you can’t go wrong.