Sure, men are notorious for being reluctant to settle down and start a family, but most of us just need a little time to be truly ready. The trick is to be patient and not push your partner into becoming a parent if he’s not there yet. How can you tell that he’s in a good place to be a dad? Look for these signs for encouragement.
- He likes children. Needless to say, this is the most important thing to track before you bring up starting a family with a guy. Of course, some people can tolerate being around nieces and nephews or the kids of their close friends, but a guy needs to embrace being around kids before he’s ready for his own. If your boyfriend or husband is still hesitant to be around someone else’s kids, he’s not ready yet. He needs to be at a point when he looks forward to being around them rather than dreading it.
- He’s totally self-sufficient. If you ever get the sense that your boyfriend would be lost without you, he’s probably not ready for kids. I shouldn’t have to say this, but before you can take care of another life, you need to be able to handle your own. If a guy can’t remember his own appointments or handle household chores, how can he be ready to be a parent? For someone like that, having a family would be a nightmare, especially for the partner who has to pick up the slack.
- He’s all-in on your relationship. If a guy isn’t 100% committed to you, there’s no way you can start a family with him. It seems obvious, but you need to know that a guy is totally invested in the relationship for the long-term. If his actions leave you no doubt that he’ll stay with you forever, you can start to believe that he’s ready for a family.
- He takes care of you. Please note that there’s a difference between taking care of you and trying to impress you early in the relationship. If you’re sick or in need of help, can you trust him to be there to take care of things? If so, that’s a strong indicator that he can handle starting a family. However, if he can’t put your needs above his own when he should, he’s nowhere near ready for a family.
- He’s content at work. This is an important factor that shouldn’t be overlooked. It’s no secret that a lot of guys can be ambitious and career-focused. However, it’s hard to go full-steam ahead toward a promotion while being a parent at the same time. That’s not to say that you can’t have a career and a family, but if he still has lofty career aspirations, now is not a good time to be starting a family. However, if he seems content with his career, he’ll be ready for what comes next in life. Obviously, a family could be that next step.
- He’s smart financially. Spoiler alert: starting a family is expensive. It will take some financial planning, so at least one of you better be able to handle that. If he’s responsible enough to save his money rather than wasting on stuff he doesn’t need, he’s probably ready for a family. On the other hand, if he’s saving his money for a new video game system, he’s not ready and he won’t be anytime soon.
- His wild party days are over. Okay, having kids doesn’t mean your social life is over, but the wild and crazy days have to end at some point. It’s fine to let loose a little when we’re young, but if hestill has days when he’s incapacitated from partying too hard the night before, he’s not ready for a family. Nobody says you can’t enjoy yourself. However, parenthood is for people who know their limits.
- He can keep his temper under control. Parenthood is about displaying calm and patience pretty much all of the time. If he still flies off the handle sometimes, he’s not ready for a family.
- He has fatherly role models. This one is probably more optional, but it’s a huge plus. A guy will always feel more comfortable about starting a family if he has other family men around him. This doesn’t always mean having his parents around as an example. Sometimes a brother or close friend can become his fatherly role model. It might even be an older neighbor who appears to be a good father. Having someone like this in his life can make him feel like he’s ready to be a parent and even gives him someone to go to for occasional advice.