Liars can be easy to spot. After all, a lie never makes sense like the truth does. But the truly seasoned liars know how to spin tales that seem like the truth, even though they’re designed to play you and keep you in the dark. What if he’s being dishonest? Here’s how to know if a guy’s playing you so you don’t waste any more time than necessary.
- It’s always a different story. A hallmark sign of dishonesty is a story that forever changes. Why? It’s a lot easier to keep track of the truth than a lie. If a guy is lying to you, his story probably won’t be that consistent. Keep in mind that this isn’t always the case, though. Some people have mastered the art of lying to the point where their stories seem real.
- The story doesn’t make logical sense. Facts make sense. Sometimes lies do add up, but a lot of the time, they don’t. If what he’s telling you just doesn’t make logical sense, it could be because it’s totally fabricated. When coming up with lies, people can’t always imagine what sounds feasible and what doesn’t, which is why lies are often easy to spot.
- His actions don’t match his words. Actions always speak louder than words. Rather than just taking someone’s word for it, judge them based on their actions. He says he loves you, but does he act like it? He told you that you can trust him, but what has he done to show you that’s the case? Trust what you see before you trust what he tells you.
- He always has an excuse for why things don’t follow through. Often, people who are pathological liars are also pathological excuse-makers. While excuses can be genuine, if he has a different excuse every time, it’s probably a sign that he’s got a large selection of them up his sleeve. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and honest people own up to it. When he’s not being honest with you, nothing will ever be his fault. He’ll have an answer for everything.
- He’s vague on the details. Sometimes when people lie, they’re super vague on the details. They do this because the fewer details they have to remember, the less likely they’re going to trap themselves in a lie. The less they tell, the less you’ll ask. It can often be the case that they won’t lie as such—they’ll just omit details to manipulate what you know. “I’m not free tonight,” they tell you, leaving out because I’m seeing someone else.
- Or his story is overly elaborate. On the other hand, liars can be overly elaborate. This happens when they think they need to come up with an outlandish story so you’ll believe their lie. They believe the more details they have covered, the less chance you’ll catch them out in a lie, so they plan it all out to cover all bases.
- He’s downright secretive about certain parts of his life. Players often keep the people they play totally in the dark about certain areas of their lives. He might not share anything about work or study or family with you. That might be because he has a girlfriend that does appear in one of those areas of his life. Some players just figure that the less access you have in their lives, the less they’ll have to hide from you.
- You can feel that something’s wrong. Your gut always knows best. If someone’s story is adding up but you just don’t feel right about it, it could be that you’re sensing a lie. Your intuition can pick up things that your conscious brain can’t, so never ignore your gut feelings.
- He has no problem lying to other people. The way the person you’re dating treats other people is a good indication of what kind of person they are. Of course, during the honeymoon stage, they’re nice to you and treat you well. They’re dating you and want to impress you. But what about the people they aren’t trying to charm? If he lies to everyone else, then he’s a liar. And you can expect that he’ll have no problem lying to you.
- He doesn’t make eye contact. We tend to find it harder to look people in the eye when we lie to them. If he often avoids making eye contact with you, it could be because he’s not being totally truthful. When he displays this behavior mixed with other clues from this list, it’s likely that he’s being dishonest with you.
