How To Know If He’s Serious About You Or Just Bored

Confused about whether the person you’re seeing seriously likes you or is just bored and out of options? You’re not alone. A lot of people find it difficult to decode their date’s true intentions, especially when the behavior of two people in very different headspaces can be similar. Generally, though, there are some clear signs that shine a light on the truth. Here’s how to know if he’s serious about you or just bored.

  1. He’s serious: He goes to effort to see you. It’s a sign that he’s serious about you if he actually makes effort to see you. If it were boredom, he wouldn’t bother going to any trouble to fit you into his schedule. Instead, he would just see you when it was convenient. On the flip side, if he is adamant about making time to see you, even if it’s inconvenient for him, it’s a good sign.
  2. He’s bored: He comes into your life sporadically. Does he tend to come in and out of your life randomly? That pattern could mean that he only shows up when he has no better offers, or out of boredom. If he really were serious about you, he wouldn’t routinely disappear from your life. That coming and going might mean that he has other priorities that take precedence over you. But when someone is serious about you, you’re usually one of their highest priorities, and it takes a lot for them to leave your life.
  3. He’s serious: He wants to know about your future plans. Naturally, we want to know what the people we’re serious about have planned for the future. That’s because we envision them in our lives for the long-term and want to know if they’re on the same page. Does he ask you about your future plans? Or about your major life decisions that might possibly affect the person you end up with? If so, it could be a sign that he really likes you.
  4. He’s bored: He doesn’t really listen when you talk. It’s not always easy to actively listen to someone. It’s much easier to really listen when you really like them because you naturally care about their feelings. If someone is just with you out of boredom, they’re less likely to bother being a good listener. More often than not, they’re using you as a fix for their loneliness or emptiness and only want to reap the benefits of spending time with you. They don’t really care about meeting your needs.
  5. He’s serious: He genuinely cares about your wellbeing. Similarly, if a guy is only with you out of boredom, he’s less likely to care about your wellbeing. He might not wish you any harm, but he won’t care about you at the same level that someone who’s serious about you will. You can tell if someone cares about your feelings and wellbeing by paying attention to the signs. A guy who cares will want to make you happy. He won’t like it when you feel unhappy and will be willing to meet your needs.
  6. He’s bored: He’s not interested in meeting your people. Typically, a guy who’s just dating you out of boredom won’t want to meet your friends or family. It’s easy to see the reason behind this thinking. With a casual fling, would you really want to get to know the people in their life? Probably not. The inevitable parting of ways could lead to a lot of awkwardness!
  7. He’s serious: He introduced you to his people. On the other hand, if he wants to meet your people, and he wants you to meet his people, it’s a sign that he really likes you. More than likely, he’s thinking for the long-term. The majority of people don’t introduce a romantic prospect to their family and friends unless they feel like they’re going to be with that person for the foreseeable future.
  8. He’s bored: He doesn’t want to talk about serious things. In every healthy relationship, there will eventually be talks about the big things: how you really feel about each other and what you want for the future. A guy who’s just bored won’t want to have those conversations. Chances are he doesn’t have deep feelings and he’s not imagining a future with you, so he won’t want to talk about it. The time spent with someone like that can be fun, but it’s usually void of those deep and meaningful chats.
  9. He’s serious: He cares how you feel about him. When you really like someone, you care how they feel about you. If they feel the same, happy days! And if they don’t, you’re a little crushed. But either way, you do care. A guy who’s serious about you will care about how you feel and possibly feel a little nervous about hearing it.
  10. He’s bored: He doesn’t want to label anything. Labels are one of the simplest ways to tell if he’s serious about you. A guy who is serious is more likely to want to label the relationship, commit, and become official. And a guy who’s just bored probably won’t. It takes time to naturally reach these milestones, so don’t panic if you’ve only dated for a while and he doesn’t want to move on to any labels. But after enough time has passed, a guy who is serious about you should want to progress to the next step of the relationship.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.