How To Know If You Like A Guy For Real

Feelings are complicated and figuring out if you genuinely like someone isn’t actually clear-cut. It’s not nice to lead someone on, but sometimes you’re honestly not sure where your head is at and need time to come to a conclusion. Here’s how to know if you like a guy for real as well as some signs you definitely don’t.

Signs you genuinely like him

  1. You think about him all the time. If you’re struggling to work out how to know if you like a guy, ask yourself how often he’s on your mind. If you’re struggling to concentrate on other tasks because your mind wanders to whatever he’s up to, then you have a crush.
  2. You want to impress him. You shouldn’t lose yourself to try and become what you think a guy — or anyone else for that matter — wants. That being said, one of the quickest ways to know if you like a guy is if you’re wondering what he would think when you’re picking out an outfit or doing your make-up. You go out of your way to present the very best version of yourself for him so he hopefully sees what a catch you are. Just be sure to stop short of being anything other than your authentic self.
  3. You want to be around him all the time. You miss him when you’re not speaking and hanging out. Although you can function without him, you notice yourself thinking how much more fun or enjoyable an experience would be if he was around to share it with you. Yep, you’ve got it bad.
  4. You feel jealous seeing him interact with other women. Even if you’re normally a secure person who’s pretty chill in relationships, a huge giveaway the feelings are real is if you feel just a little bit hurt and jealous seeing him interact with other women. Of course, you shouldn’t act on these negative feelings. If he’s a free agent, he can flirt with whoever he wants. Even in relationships, it’s not rational to expect your guy to never interact with another woman except his mother ever again. Flirting with other women isn’t okay, but you can’t expect him to walk out of the grocery store if all the cashiers are women.
  5. You get butterflies just thinking about him. If you’re immediately hit with butterflies and can’t stop smiling when he’s around, you must like him. That little jumpy feeling in your stomach is your body’s way of telling you that there’s something different and special about him. You know you like him when a mere thought of him makes your stomach do somersaults.
  6. You have elaborate daydreams about a future together. If you’re already fantasizing about dates, romantic moments, and even a long-term future together, then you know for sure that you like this guy. You can already picture going on trips together, the way you’d decorate your home together, and maybe even have kids. Pace yourself — if it’s meant to happen, it will. No need to rush.
  7. You can’t stop talking about him. If you can’t help but constantly bring him up in conversation, no matter the context, then you definitely like him. Otherwise, why would you start talking about the music he likes if someone asked about your own music taste? You get the picture.

How you know you don’t really like a guy (even if you think you do)

  1. You have doubts. If you’re searching for the answer on how to know if you like a guy, you probably don’t actually like him in the first place. More often than not, you’ll just know you have feelings without needing to ask. If you have to wonder if maybe you’re building things up in your head, you probably are.
  2. You feel uneasy about and around him. Feeling uneasy is not the same as feeling butterflies. While butterflies aren’t necessarily a pleasant sensation, there’s definitely still an element of excitement to them because you know they mean something good. If you just feel nauseous seeing him or thinking about him, you’re body already knows your not feeling it. Your brain just needs to catch up.
  3. You think he’s perfect… on paper. We can’t control our feelings, which is sometimes pretty unfortunate. There have been lots of times where a guy is exactly my type and everything I want on paper, but I just wasn’t feeling it. There was nothing wrong with him; sometimes there just isn’t a spark. It’s a shame when he’s actually a really great guy, but it is what it is. There’s no point wasting your time or his trying to force it.
  4. You don’t get giddy when people say you’d make a good couple. There’s been times when my friends have thought I would be a great match for a guy  but everything just felt forced. Normally when you have a crush on someone and a friend thinks you would make a great couple, you would be ecstatic. If those conversations are just making you uncomfortable and/or freaking you out, then you definitely don’t like him.
  5. You’re forcing conversation. Even if you’re both a bit shy, once you’ve gotten acquainted with each other, you should find something to talk about. If you really like someone, you’ll probably ask lots of questions to get to know them better. If you’re forcing yourself to engage in conversation just to be polite, you’re probably not feeling it.
  6. You’ve got a running list of pros and cons in your head. One of the most clear-cut ways on how to know if you like a guy is if you end up weighing up the good and bad things about him in your head, trying to figure out which list is longer. While it’s good to go into every relationship in a thoughtful way, if you’re so in your head about whether or not he has too many flaws, you’re likely not a good match.
  7. You’re not over the moon to see him. If you see him and don’t feel a surge of joy, then you probably don’t like him that much. You know you’re really into a guy when you feel like you’re going to die with anticipation of seeing him. If you’re indifferent, it might just be chill friendship vibes.
  8. You can’t wait to leave. If you really like someone, then no matter how long you hang out, it never feels like enough. So, if you go on a date and you can’t wait to go home (without him), then you probably don’t like them like you think you do. No matter how much you like laying on your couch in your underwear while scrolling Instagram, hanging out with a guy you really like should trump that.
  9. You don’t miss him. If you haven’t taught about him or miss him despite not seeing each other or speaking in a few days, it’s not looking good. Sure, you don’t want to get too attached too quickly, but you should still be looking forward to the next time you speak/hang out. If you’re not, you know you don’t like this guy all that much.
  10. You’re not physically attracted to him. There are different kinds of attraction, but if you’re unfamiliar with them, it’s hard to tell the difference between romantic attraction and platonic attraction. Likewise, thinking someone is hot but actually being romantically and sexually attracted to them is not one and the same. If the thought of dating or getting intimate does nothing for you, then you might actually just think the guy is cool and want to be friends with him instead.
Aisling is a 20-something year old Irish writer who is the life and relationship guru of her social circle. She loves music, movies, and coffee.