How To Know When A Guy Truly Means What He Says

You’ve been together for a little while now and while you’ve always known how you feel about him, you weren’t sure if he was on the same page until he finally said those three little words. Or, maybe caught him doing some shady behavior but he had a perfect explanation for why it was a totally innocent situation. However, something just doesn’t quite feel right. Is he being honest or just telling you pretty little lies? Here’s how you know when a guy means what he says.

  1. His word is gold. If he keeps his promises when it comes to the little things like texting you when he said he would or doing the dishes after you cooked dinner, then that’s a good sign you’ll be able to trust him when he promises bigger things. This has sort of become a dating cliche, but it’s so true!
  2. He’s quick to explain. If he drops his game, he apologizes. Hey, no one’s perfect. Maybe he had good intentions to call you but something serious came up. A guy who means what he says will let you know why he couldn’t follow through with his promises instead of leaving you to wonder why he’s bailing on you.
  3. His words aren’t exaggerations. When he tells you that he loves you, does he go off on a tangent about how you’re the most amazing person he’s ever met in his whole life and he’d die without you, or does he wax lyrical about how excited he is to have met you even though it’s only your second date? Umm. If he’s laying it on a little too thick, you have to wonder if you can trust him. It just doesn’t seem genuine.
  4. His body language isn’t left behind. When he tells you that he’s keen to see you again or that he loves you, does his body language match his words? Or, does it seem like he’s contradicting his words, such as by fidgeting or crossing his arms? You want his words and body language to be in sync in order for what he says to be believable.
  5. He doesn’t beg you to believe him. Is there anything dodgier than a guy who begs you to believe in him when you’re having doubts? It screams that he’s actually not telling you the truth. You know what they say: the truth speaks for itself. He shouldn’t have to be so dramatic to make you believe in him.
  6. He’s honest in the rest of his life. You can usually believe what he says if it’s clear that he’s honest in the rest of his life with other people. If you catch him telling lies to other people on a regular basis, whether they be his mates or co-workers, that’s not a good sign. What’s stopping him from lying to you?
  7. His compliments are real. You don’t want a guy to give you generic compliments that feel like they’ve been said to tons of women before you. You want a guy who’s going to give you unique compliments that really mean something and show you what he feels for you.
  8. He times it right. The guy who tells you he loves you after sex but at no other time isn’t being real with you. Neither is the guy who tells you that you’re the most important person to him just as you’re about to walk out the door because he’s let you down yet again. These kinds of guys are manipulative. So, look at the timing of when he shares his feelings for you or promises to be a better guy to prevent getting conned.
  9. He doesn’t change the story. If he said he wanted a committed relationship but now he’s backtracking on his words, that’s a huge sign he’s not being real with you and you’re wasting your time. A guy who changes his story from one day to the next or – worse – makes you think you’re crazy for hearing what he initially said, is not worth caring about. A guy who’s honest with you will be consistent.
  10. He’s not bad for your gut. If no matter what the guy says, it still makes you doubt him, you should trust your gut on the matter. Actually, you should trust it all the time. If you just get a good feeling about what he’s telling you, then that’s usually a good sign that he can be trusted and he means what he says. If not, you know what to do.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.