Ending a relationship is one of the hardest things to do. Even if you know the guy isn’t right for you, there are likely still some fond memories the two of you have shared. However, if you truly want to find your real match, you need to let him go. Here are ways to let a guy go when your relationship has run its course.
- Meet up with him in person. It’s the respectful thing to do — especially if the two of you have been together for a long time. Don’t even think of ghosting, since that has the potential of really hurting his feelings. Don’t meet with him at a place you love, since you don’t want to ruin it for him. Instead, think about taking a walk in the park with him, or talking to him outside his apartment complex. If you feel like it’ll be a long conversation, you might want to sit down at home for it. If you’ve got things at each other’s homes, it’ll also be a good time to collect it.
- Be kind. Kindness can change everything. This isn’t an opportunity to make a grocery list of all his faults. If you genuinely think he’s a nice guy, let him know. Tell him that you had fun with him, but that you don’t really see a future. Let him know he’s a catch. There’s a possibility he’s feeling the same way about you, and just doesn’t know how to verbalize it. Your relationship will never be the same, but try not to burn the bridge if you can help it.
- Vow to stay single for a little bit. Your love life is entirely up to you. However, taking a brief dating break is good for plenty of reasons. For one, it’ll give you time to completely get over the relationship. Secondly, it’ll assure him that you didn’t leave him for someone else. If you jump into another relationship a day after your breakup, he might assume you were cheating on him this whole time.
- Know that this may be hard for him. Guys process breakups in a strange way. He might feel angry at first. He may even shoot out some insults as a way to bring you down to his emotional level. Don’t take them too seriously. He may have been blindsided by this, or had the impression that your relationship was on a healthy course. If you’re serious about letting him go, don’t let him talk you into staying. Stay firm with your plan.
- Don’t try to set him up with someone else. Sometimes, a guy is really great — but, just isn’t your type. Don’t try and pass him around to your other single friends, even if they’re a match made in heaven. That makes it seem like he’s a material object. You can, however, tell him that another girl would be lucky to date him. Just don’t name names, since it’ll make things really awkward.
- Try not to drink during the breakup. Alcohol can be wonderful. However, you may end up overdoing it if you know you’re about to go through a difficult breakup. Be sober, and be yourself. Don’t let him chalk up your breakup as a “drunken mistake.” Alcohol can also heighten your emotions, turning a civil breakup into an unnecessary war. When you’re done and he’s out of your home and out of your life, that’s what you’ll want to bust open a bottle of wine.
- Really think about what you’re going to say before you say it. Obviously, you’ll have a good feeling when a relationship has reached its end. But if things were going really well for some time, ask yourself if you’re just a little restless and bored. Not all relationships will be action-packed and interesting. Sometimes, there’ll be rough patches with your soulmate. You want to be at a level where you don’t have any reason to regret your decision. Otherwise, he may try to talk you out of it — and, that’ll make things very awkward. Have a solid position, and know what you’re going to say.
- Don’t post about it on social media. Don’t immediately change your Facebook to “single” the second he walks out the door. And, don’t post anything before the conversation, like “today’s going to be a tough day!” or “I may be back on the market…” That’s disrespectful. Give him just a little bit of time to process before announcing it online. He was part of this relationship too, so you should give him a little bit of respect. If you really do like him as a person, consider muting him on social media instead of unfriending him.