Finally realized that the person you have feelings for doesn’t feel the same? We’ve all been there and it sucks. When a guy doesn’t like or love you back and you’ve got your heart set on a relationship with him, it can be devastating. While there’s nothing you can do to eliminate the pain overnight because it truly sucks, there are a few tips to follow that will help you to let go in a healthy way. Read them below!
- Acknowledge that it hurts. Loving someone, or even liking someone, who doesn’t share those feelings is one of the most painful things that a human can go through. It’s okay to acknowledge that. In fact, part of getting through that pain is actually embracing it. Don’t pretend that it doesn’t hurt or tell yourself to get over it. It hurts and it’s okay that it hurts. If you try to suppress that pain, it could manifest in other ways. Typically, if you don’t listen to your emotions, they’ll start to show up in more obvious places.
- Accept that no one is obligated to like you. A really powerful part of letting go is accepting that this guy doesn’t actually have to like you back. No one has to like you. So while it hurts, he isn’t a villain because he doesn’t share your feelings. Now, if he’s done some crappy things, like ghosting you or leading you on, that’s another story. But purely not having feelings for you? He can’t control that. Try not to demonize him just for that. You can be hurt but you don’t have to hate him.
- Remember how you’ve felt when you’ve rejected people. It can help to remember how you’ve felt when you’ve rejected people. It’s likely that you felt terrible and wished that you could muster up feelings for them, but, unfortunately, emotions don’t work that way. You’re not a bad person for rejecting someone else, and neither is the person rejecting you (at least, purely for not having feelings). Accept that rejection is part of life and you’ll be on the giving and receiving end of it a lot.
- Stop talking to him. This guy doesn’t like you back and that’s his loss. If you want to let him go, it’s important to stop talking to him. Cut off all communication. Though that might seem impossible at first, it is the easiest way to help yourself. If you’ve ever been on a diet, think about how hard it would be to walk past a McDonald’s restaurant and smell the sizzling fries knowing that you can’t eat any of them. That’s why most people watching what they eat don’t go anywhere near McDonald’s, or any other tempting food outlet. It would be ludicrous to constantly go and sit in a McDonald’s restaurant, smelling the food, knowing you can’t have any. So why would you keep talking to him, keeping him in your life and knowing you can’t have him?
- Unfollow him on social media. Continuing on with the McDonald’s analogy, it would also be difficult to stay on a diet if you kept seeing fast food being advertised. You’d have to be masochistic to surround yourself with images of food that you can’t eat while sticking to a diet. It’s the same thing. It’ll make it harder to let him go if you keep seeing his posts on social media. Erase him from your life so he can be out of sight and out of mind. If you don’t want to unfollow him because you don’t want to cause any drama, you could always mute him.
- Stop talking about him. It can be really difficult to stop talking about someone who’s always on your mind. But if you can, make an effort to stop going on about him with your friends. The more you talk about him, the more he’ll stay on your mind and the harder he’ll be to let go. At first, this will seem really unnatural and will majorly challenge you. But the more you stick to it, the easier it will be to avoid bringing him up. And slowly, you’ll begin to think of him less and less.
- Remind yourself that his lack of interest is a dealbreaker. Once you’ve been rejected, it can make you feel better to take some of the power back. He might have rejected you by not liking you back, but that act in itself should be a dealbreaker for you. It literally means that he can’t see how great you are. You deserve someone who wants you with all of their heart, not someone whose feelings for you aren’t there. His feelings, though genuine and fair, mean that he’s not good for you.
- Go over the reasons why you’re amazing. You’ll heal more quickly after accepting that he doesn’t like you back if you go over the reasons why you’re amazing. Try not to take the rejection personally, because you are amazing. And the right person will see that. Him not liking you back just means that he’s not your guy. Just because this guy doesn’t like you doesn’t mean there aren’t some great ones out there that won’t.
- Take a break from the dating scene. The dating scene can be pretty toxic. Taking a break from it all can help you to get your thoughts together and fill your life with other things that make you happy. If you’ve still got feelings for someone who doesn’t like you, dating someone else won’t necessarily cure your sadness. Most of the time, it’s better to step away and come back when you’re in the right mindset for meeting someone new.