They say there’s no quality as attractive as confidence. And luckily for those of us who can feel a little insecure at times, confidence is easy to fake. It just takes a little practice. The best thing about appearing confident is that the more you do it, the more you actually start to believe in yourself for real. Here’s how to look and act confident around guys.
Don’t put yourself down.
Confident people don’t constantly say negative things about themselves. If you are always putting yourself down, you’re clearly not in a mindset where you’re loving yourself or proud of who you are. It can be surprisingly difficult to stop putting yourself down if you’re in the habit, but it’s really important to stop. Saying horrible things about yourself will leave you feeling terrible because you’ll eventually start to believe them.
Don’t put other people down.
Being nasty to other people is actually a sign of insecurity. It shows the world that you’re so unhappy with yourself that you feel the need to bring others down so you’re not alone in your misery. Although bullies might appear confident, that meanness really comes from a place of self-hate. Putting other people down is the last thing you should do. It stops you from looking confident, and it makes you a less kind person.
Resist the urge to be clingy.
Clinginess and confidence don’t go hand in hand. Especially when you’re around a guy or girl you like, try not to act needy. Instead, act hard to get. Act like an independent woman. Act like you don’t need anyone in your life to validate you or make you feel okay. You are enough on your own.
Try not to fidget.
Fidgeting is a sign of nervousness. And although we all feel nervous from time to time, this is the opposite of feeling confident. If you have to, try to always be holding something so you’re not tempted to fidget. Other nervous behavior to avoid includes always looking at your phone screen, pacing up and down, or swaying on the spot. Take some deep breaths and be still and calm.
Stand tall like you’re proud to be you.
Another sign of nervousness, which paints the opposite image to confidence? Hunched shoulders. To appear confident—and feel it—stand tall and proud like you’re ready to show the world who you are. Don’t withdraw into yourself like you’ve got something to hide, or like you should be ashamed. Hold your head up high the way Beyoncé would.
Accept compliments and give them out.
Accepting compliments can feel really unnatural when you suffer from low self-esteem. Some people even refuse to accept compliments because they don’t want to be seen as too cocky. But there’s nothing arrogant about accepting compliments. If someone says something nice about you, respond with a simple thank you. To boost your confidence, say something nice about them back. Confident people praise others—they don’t feel threatened by someone else’s beauty or strength.
Talk about your achievements, but don’t brag.
You should be proud of your achievements. Talking about them in front of someone you like will actually make you feel and look confident, as long as you don’t brag. You know, don’t completely dominate the conversation running down a list of amazing things you’ve done! Talk about the things that make you proud, but also ask about the person you’re talking to. Show interest in others too.
Take pride in your appearance.
Your soul is what matters, but your body is the vehicle with which you present yourself to the world. To feel and look confident, take pride in your appearance. That means something different for everyone. For you, it might be staying on top of your health by eating nutritiously and exercising. Or it might be wearing clean, new clothes that express your style. It’s being hygienic and washing your face and brushing your teeth. And it’s acting like you’re proud of the way you look, because you should be.
Stand your ground.
While a bully doesn’t actually look confident, neither does a push-over. Don’t let people walk all over you like a doormat. If someone says something nasty about you, stand up for yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be pushed around. Act like you’re worth sticking up for and stand your ground.
Don’t fret over awkward silences.
When you’re hanging out with a guy you like, there’s likely to be some awkward silences. This happens to everyone and definitely doesn’t mean that you’re an awkward person or that you have no chemistry. Try not to stress about it. Talking endlessly to try and fill those natural gaps in conversation can actually make you look more nervous, not more confident.
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