How To Love A Woman Who Seems Like She Doesn’t Need You Or Anyone Else

I’m what you would call a “strong, independent woman” who doesn’t necessarily need a partner (or anybody!) in her life. That said, I’m happy to have a special someone—but only if they know how to handle me the right way. If this sounds like you, show this to your partner so they can love you right by doing these things.

  1. Romance her. Firstly, it’s a-OK to hit on an independent lady (more than once). Just because we’re so used to doing our own thing, having our own space, and living life according to our own rules doesn’t mean that we don’t like romance too. In fact, if you’re courting a woman who hasn’t been in a relationship for a long time, she will enjoy the fun of the chase more than the average person.
  2. Give her space. Most strong women don’t like to feel pressured in any way, shape, or form. Romance her for sure, but don’t overdo it with grand gestures whether you’re already in relationship or you’re at the beginning stages of dating. I’m talking sending a singing telegram to serenade her at work or coming on too strong with your advances if she’s blatantly not interested. She won’t appreciate it.
  3. Let her come to you. Let her know that you’re there and you want to get to know her without making her feel backed into a corner. Essentially, she wants to call the shots on her own life and decide what’s best for her without feeling overwhelmed. Comprende?
  4. Take things slowly. Similarly, if you’re already in a relationship with said woman, take the dating process slowly. Don’t rush her in any way, from deciding where you guys are going to go out to dinner to taking the next step (whether this is moving in together or simply meeting the family). In short, she needs to go out at her own pace to be able to successfully adjust to having another person in her life who needs love and care.
  5. Don’t bombard her with messages. Speaking of pressure, whatever you do, don’t bombard her with messages when you’re apart. For that matter, don’t bombard her full stop. She will come to you when she’s ready. If she hasn’t come to you yet, it’s not time yet.
  6. Realize that she won’t be the best communicatorBecause she doesn’t necessarily need other humans to effectively live her life, she might not be the best communicator. She’ll be used to doing her own thing without having to answer to anyone else, so factoring another important person in her life (apart from herself) might prove challenging at times. Be patient and understanding and there’s no reason why she won’t improve her introverted ways.
  7. Don’t be confrontational. The worst thing you can do when dealing with a strong-minded woman is be confrontational in any way. Sure, ask questions and reach out to them if you’re wondering why it’s been seven days and you haven’t been on another date—but there are ways of saying things. I can’t tell you the number of times that potential partners have become frustrated with the fact that I haven’t got back to them according to their time schedule and started an argument about it. I think they thought that if they were tough with me, it would scaremonger me into conforming to their ways of doing things. Instead, it pushed me away from them (and sometimes forever). Goodbye and good riddance.
  8. Realize that she has her own schedule. One of the best things you could do when you’re in a relationship with an independent woman? Realize she’s on a very special time schedule—the strong lady’s time schedule of life. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you will build a robust, loving relationship (on both parts) to last a lifetime.
  9. Let her have her own life. Just as you should let her have her own time schedule, you should also let her have her own life. She enjoys being her own person with an individual identity and she’s not likely looking to lose this just because she now has a partner. Of course, as time goes on, your lives will become more integrated—but she will probably want to keep her independence as much as she can. Whether this is having her own apartment to escape to even though you own a house together or spending large chunks of leisure time with other people, she’ll feel like she needs to do this for her own mental health and well-being.
  10. Don’t take it personally if she wants to do things without you. Speaking of being happy to do things without you, don’t take this personally. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you or care about you deeply, it just means that she has different needs than the average people. Or mainly just one—the need to keep her strength and independence intact. 
Katie Davies is a British freelance writer who has built a career creating lifestyle content that caters to the modern woman. When she's not sipping tea, shopping, or exploring a new city, you'll probably find her blogging about her fashion and travel adventures at