They say that love is blind, and if you’ve ever watched a friend fall for someone who’s completely wrong for them then you know that’s true. It’s worrying to watch someone you care about date a person who will only hurt them in the long run, but how can you show them what they’re not seeing? Here’s how to make a guy realize he’s with the wrong woman.
- Offer a listening ear. Lots of people who date people who are bad for them are in denial of that fact. If you offer a guy your shoulder or ear, he might start to talk about his relationship problems. Hearing himself talk about things out loud might make him realize that his relationship problems are red flags. It might take a while for him to figure it out, but once he does, he’ll hopefully break things off with the woman he’s dating.
- Point out negative lifestyle changes. Many times, dating the wrong person can cause someone to make bad changes to their lifestyle. If he’s dating the wrong woman, chances are you’ve noticed these lifestyle shifts. For example, a guy who usually exercises several times a week may have turned into a couch potato. Or, he might have stopped eating healthily. He might have even picked up unhealthy habits like smoking or drinking in excess at parties every weekend. Pointing out these negative changes might be the wake-up call a guy needs to get out of his bad relationship before it’s too late. Just make sure you’re tactful about it!
- Don’t excuse her behavior. When offering compassion to a guy, it’s easy to act understanding of both sides and try to play neutral ground. But if you’re trying to make him realize that the woman he’s with is wrong for him, this is the wrong way to go. Openly state that her actions are negative when he complains about them. Don’t excuse her behavior, as that only tells him that her toxic traits are acceptable, or worse, normal things that he should learn to live with.
- Call her out in front of him. The next time the woman he’s dating acts in an obviously inappropriate way in front of you, call her out on it. Point out that what she’s doing is problematic and don’t let her get away with being cruel to him or to others. Remember, though, calling someone out doesn’t mean getting a free pass to be disrespectful. Firm but compassionate corrections that gently point her in the right direction work much better in showing that she’s in the wrong.
- Point out their value differences. Long-term relationship compatibility usually needs some agreement in terms of values. Yes, couples can have differing opinions on things, of course! That being said, it’s practical and important to date someone who shares similar ideals. If he’s dating a woman who has completely opposite beliefs, you can try raising concerns about that. Some things can’t be compromised on, after all, and some of her beliefs may reflect poorly on her character.
- Show him examples of good relationships. There are plenty of examples of healthy relationships out there. Use them as examples, talk about them, or invite that guy to hang out with people in loving, positive partnerships. It’s only a matter of time before he realizes that his relationship doesn’t tick any of those boxes.
- Boost his self-esteem. A guy who loves himself and has high levels of self-confidence is more likely to realize he’s in a bad relationship than a guy whose self-esteem is dependent on his partner. So don’t be afraid to compliment him and appreciate his abilities and qualities! Eventually, he may come to discover that he deserves better than the woman he’s with.
- Encourage him to think long-term. Can this guy see himself happy in a future with his partner in it? Encourage him to try and think about how the next years will look like if he continues dating this woman. If he can’t imagine a future where this woman is involved or tries to hedge around the subject, you’ll know you’ve hit the nail on the head. Press the matter in a respectful way and he might realize that it’s time to call things off.
- Just tell him. Sometimes, direct communication is the only option that will really work. If you’re close enough to him, he’s likely to value your thoughts and opinions on his relationship anyway. So sit him down and explain to him your worries about his relationship. Try to use “I” statements, meaning sentences starting with “I feel…”, “I think…”, or “I’m worried that…” in order to avoid sounding too confrontational. Even if he doesn’t listen right away, if you’re important to him, he’ll keep it in mind.
- Don’t be afraid to speak up. It’s tough watching a guy stay with the wrong woman. While you can’t know everything about a relationship from the outside looking in, sometimes your view as an outsider reveals more to you than it does to him. As long as you’re tactful about it, don’t be afraid to help that guy realize he’s dating someone who he shouldn’t be.
