How To Make Time For Love When You’re Obsessed With Your Job

For those of us single girls who want to meet someone but sometimes feel like we’re married to our careers, dating becomes more of a decision than waiting to magically meet someone standing in line at Starbucks. We have to make plans and carve out time in our already super hectic schedules; there’s just no other option if we want to share our lives with someone. It’s definitely possible to find love, even if you’re a workaholic. You’ve got enough to worry about – don’t let your dating life become something to stress about, too.

  1. Know that some weeks you’ll just be too busy to date. Your coupled-up friends may think you’re making excuses when they try to set you up with someone and you say you’ve working all weekend, but you’re actually just telling the truth. Many of us work 6 or 7 days a week, which is pretty easy to do, considering we’re always connected to our iPhones and our email. Don’t make it an either/or choice between dating and working. Some weeks you’ll be free to go on a date or two, and others you’ll have to buckle down and get to work. It’s not a contest, it’s just your reality right now.
  2. But don’t be too busy all the time. It’s easy to get into a routine of having zero dates and focusing on yourself and your career — so easy that it’s suddenly two years later and you’re totally cool being perpetually solo, sure, but you’re wondering when you’re finally going to meet someone. You never will if you don’t make an effort.
  3. Seek out guys who dig ambitious women. Unfortunately, not every guy is cool with a girl who knows what she wants and can’t help but long hours because she loves her job so much. Make sure you make it pretty clear on date #1 that, in the words of Carly Rae Jepsen, you really, really, really like your job. This make things much easier because you don’t want to fall for someone and then he throws a fit two months in because he claims you’re ignoring him.
  4. Figure out if you can give your all to someone. It’s not fair to claim you’re in the market for commitment and then once a guy commits to you, tell him you’d rather focus on work. Guys do this to us all the time, right? It’s so not cool. If you’re willing to open up your social calendar a bit and let someone in, then go for it. If you want to date but your career is still your first priority right now, there’s nothing wrong with casual dating.
  5. Treat first dates like job interviews. Okay, not everyone will agree with this, because having your date ask you a million questions can feel like being attacked and can get old fast. But you’ve invested a lot in your career thus far, and you deserve to do the same in a potential partner. Make sure you ask all the questions that you want answers to (within reason, of course). You’re a busy girl, you want to make sure he’s a good person and not a total jerk before you clear your calendar.
  6. Find a guy who fits your working style. Whatever industry you’re in, whether you freelance or work in an office, you’re a workaholic for a reason – or a few reasons. Maybe you thrive on a challenge and like that every day is different. Or maybe you like your cozy routine and knowing that you can conquer anything on your to-do list. Apply that to your dating life. If you’re more of an adventurous type at the office, it could be a good idea to find a guy who wants to live life to its fullest, too. If you don’t get bored by routine, maybe you need a homebody who’s cool with take-out and TV.
  7. Forget your fear of failure. Even the most confident among us are scared of making a mistake at work, not making enough to pay the rent this month, missing a deadline. Once you’re in that mindset, it’s going to make you feel like a total failure if you skip an evening of planning for a meeting or brainstorming and go on a date. Don’t feel that way.
  8. Have fun. If your life is all work and nothing else, you’re going to get burnt out sooner or later, and you’ll probably get physically ill, too. Allow yourself to let go, date, and have fun. After all, as the old saying goes, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” — and you a dull girl!
  9. The future starts now, not tomorrow. So you’re happily single and in love with your career — that’s awesome. But in two years, five years, 10 years, you might not be so thrilled with your situation. Put in the time now so you can have lasting love if that’s what you want.
  • Find a fellow workaholic. If you truly can’t see yourself giving up your working weekends and late nights at the office, but you want a relationship, then the best thing to do? Date guys who are super into their careers, too. They’ll be more likely to simply accept your schedule and you’ll have a level of mutual respect since you’re both ambitious. You’ll never have to choose between a guy and your job ever again.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.