It’s 2020 and men don’t have to be the ones to make the big moves in the relationship. If you love your boyfriend and want to spend the rest of your life with him, there’s nothing stopping you from taking the plunge and asking for his hand in marriage. You just have to propose to him in a way that makes him feels special and doesn’t bruise his feelings.
- Make sure you’re both ready. Is your relationship at a place where marriage seems like a good next step? Are you both financially and emotionally ready and willing to be committed to each other on that level? The last thing you want is to spring a proposal on a man who just isn’t on the same page as you. Before you pop the question, have honest discussions about your future. Drop hints that you think it’s time to take your relationship to the next level. You should only propose when you’re pretty sure he’ll say yes.
- Pick a special moment. No matter how long you’ve been dating, you’ve probably created a ton of memories together that’ll come in handy when planning a proposal. Choose a day that means something to both of you or even just a location or theme. It could be the day you first met, the place you shared your first kiss, or the theme of the proposal could be an inside joke between you and him. Put some thought into your proposal. You want him to feel utterly cherished in that moment.
- Make the proposal about him. Remember that this is not about your dream proposal, so throw all your ideas about what would make the day special for you out the window and focus on him. Your proposal has to match his personality. You don’t want to put him in an uncomfortable position or do something he’s not going to like. The trick is to figure out his interests and find a way to work them into your proposal. If your boyfriend loves puzzles, you could make a scavenger hunt out of your proposal.
- Buy gifts for both of you. If you’re going to propose to your boyfriend, then you need to be prepared for the occasion. You can’t expect him to go out and buy an engagement ring for you after you pop the question. You should already have a ring for him and for yourself. You don’t actually need a ring to propose. You could get him a watch and get yourself or get matching bracelets, bands, or necklace pendants for both of you. Forget about expensive diamond rings. Your gift just has come from the heart.
- Keep it small and private. If you’re worried about what other people might say about you proposing instead of your man, you can sidestep the stigma entirely by doing it in private. You can pop the question at home or in gathering with your close friends and family, or even while you both are away on vacation. Ditch the glitz and glam and just keep things simple. After all, this moment is about the two of you alone. You should both be able to soak it in.
- Go big or go home. If you love making a huge fuss over things and you think your partner would appreciate you going the extra mile then you should definitely propose in grand style. Bring out the big guns. Get a live band, send him thousands of his favorite flowers, write out your question in the sky. Turn your proposal into the stuff romantic movies are made of.
- Be sensitive to his ego. Sometimes even the most enlightened of men have huge egos and might feel slightly embarrassed and emasculated by a woman proposing to them. It’s not a sign that he doesn’t love you or want to spend forever with you. It just means that it can be hard to completely buck traditional roles and societal expectations. Be sensitive to that. You can even let him know that he can also propose to you later to square things up.
- Tell him how much he means to you. This is probably the most important part of your proposal. It’s the moment where you bare your heart to him. Tell him how happy he makes you, how much you care about him, how much sense your life makes with him in it, and how you can’t imagine a future without him. This outpouring of emotions will actually take most of the tension and awkwardness out of the proposal and make him more likely to say yes. He’ll know that you’re asking for his hand because you truly love him, not because you just want to cross a wedding off your bucket list.
- Be prepared for his reaction. It’s possible that even after you plan the sweetest proposal and you think there’s no way in hell anything could go wrong, that something still does. Your boyfriend might be upset that you stole his thunder or he might even turn you down because he’s not quite ready yet. Plan for success but keep in mind that there’s a ton of ways he could react. So be ready to alter your response to match his.