Being ignored by someone is never a good feeling, especially if the person in question is someone you love. Whether it’s your partner or a family member, you know you want to resolve things but you’re not sure how. Well, you’re in luck because here are several ways to react when someone you love is ignoring you.
1. Approach them.
You might have tried this technique already, but if someone you love is ignoring you, approaching them is the first obvious step. Whether you try calling or texting them, ask if they would be willing to meet with you to discuss things. Being the bigger person and approaching them might be enough to break the tension.
2. Reach out again.
Let’s say you’ve already tried reaching out to the person you love, and you haven’t heard anything back. It’s been longer than a week now, and you’re wondering what to do next. At this point, you’re well within your grounds to try and connect with them again. You could try the same approach, whether calling, texting, or even leaving a note in their mailbox.
3. Listen to them.
If you do get in contact with them, one of the first things you should do is ask them why they’re ignoring you, then be quiet and listen. The last thing they’ll want is to be interrupted when they’ve decided to lower their walls to explain. The most important thing here is to show them you care by giving them your undivided attention. Wait for them to finish what they have to say before sharing your feelings.
4. Acknowledge their feelings.
As well as listening to them, if someone you love has been ignoring you, it’s vital that you acknowledge how they feel. Even if you disagree with their feelings or want to get your point across, you must show them that you understand their emotions and have listened. Telling them “I understand,” or “I hear you,” is a small act that goes a long way.
5. Show them respect.
If your loved one has been ignoring you for a while, you might have built up resentment towards them. You’ve gone over the reasons why in your head, and the more you think about it, the more you feel they’re wrong. However, it’s essential to approach them respectfully when they lower their guard and let you in again. Whatever you’re feeling, talking to them in a calm, respectful tone will speak volumes and encourage them to open up to you.
6. Share your feelings.
Once you’ve given your loved one ample opportunity to share how they’re feeling about the situation, you can share your feelings, too. This is also an excellent time to let them know how it feels to be ignored by them. Tell them how hurt you felt when they refused to talk to you, it’s essential to be open and honest here so that the other person knows exactly how you’re feeling and dealing with the situation.
7. Suggest resolutions.
While it might be tempting to dwell on the wrong your loved one has done you, showing them that you’re willing to move on is essential. Once you’ve communicated how you feel about them ignoring you, the next step is to resolve your disagreement. Ask them if they need more time to process their feelings or if they want you to apologize, whatever the way forward make sure both parties are in agreement.
8. Suggest they talk to you next time.
One way to make sure that things move forward in the right direction is by suggesting that they approach things differently next time. Nobody likes being ignored, and while the person you love might need space to process their feelings occasionally, ignoring you isn’t the best approach. Suggest that next time they feel upset with you to tell you even if it’s hard. You could suggest they text you or write an email so they don’t have to do it face-to-face.
9. Focus on yourself.
When someone you love is ignoring you, it’s easy to spend all your time thinking about them and why they’re acting this way. However, this is also an excellent time to focus on yourself. What could you be doing on your end to make sure that your loved one doesn’t ignore you in the future? Perhaps changing your communication tactics might help prevent this from happening again. It’s also worth using this as a lesson to remember not to ignore the people you care about in return.
10. Get therapy.
If your loved one has a habit of ignoring you, and no matter how you approach it each time, it never gets resolved, you might need to recruit the help of a third party. Perhaps it’s time to talk to a therapist about the situation or confide in a close friend. It’s hard to be alone with your feelings when someone is stonewalling you, so expressing them to someone else who’s impartial to the situation can be helpful.
11. Practice self-care.
In addition to thinking about how you can improve in the future, this is also an excellent opportunity to show yourself some grace. Even if you know you’re wrong, you deserve kindness. While being ignored, you could take the opportunity to treat yourself to a spa day or catch up with a friend you haven’t seen in a long time. It’s also a good tactic to distract yourself from the situation.
12. Avoid responding in kind.
If someone you care about ignores you, you might be tempted to give the silent treatment right back. You believe that they should make the first move, and as a result, you stop all correspondence and wait for them to reach out to you. While this might feel good initially, it won’t get you anywhere. It’s better to be the bigger person and reach out.
13. Avoid being desperate.
If this is the first time someone you love has ignored you, it might bring up a sense of panic. You might be tempted to respond by trying to talk to them in any way you can by leaving multiple voicemails on their phone and texting them repeatedly. However, not only is this unhelpful, but it will also encourage them to ignore you even longer. Try to be patient (even though it’s hard).
14. Avoid taking the blame.
If you know you’re in the right, don’t let the person sway you to think any differently. Perhaps after being ignored for a week, you’re starting to doubt your innocence and wonder if you need to apologize to make things right. However, it’s important not to let their stonewalling get in your head and result in taking the blame for something you didn’t do.
15. Find something else to put your energy into.
One of the best things you can do when someone is ignoring you is to live your best life (especially if you know the other person won’t change their mind). Take up a new hobby like fishing or sailboating, and fill your schedule with friends and family members who you know aren’t going to ignore you. Choose to put your energy into people and things that will lift you up, not drag you down.
