How To Reinvent Yourself After A Painful Breakup

Whether you were relieved or devastated at the end of your relationship, the first few months after you split from your partner can take a major toll on your mental and physical health. If you’re currently struggling with your new single life, here are some tips for reinventing yourself after a breakup. Trust me, you’ll learn to thrive and be better than ever.

  1. Unfollow him on social media. Now is not a good time to start stalking his social media. Whether you’re trying to analyze his every move or you just want to stay friends, right now, seeing his face will just make you feel worse. Mute his Instagram posts and stories, turn off Snapchat notificationss from him, and give yourself some distance. How can you reinvent yourself post-breakup if you’re fixated on who you were with him?
  2. Rejig your wardrobe. Depending on your financial situation, you could do this over the next few months or in one big Amazon shopping spree. Personally, I like to shop in person so I get to try on different outfits. Take some time to find clothing inspiration on Pinterest, then start building your new look. It will give you a confidence boost and help you feel better.
  3. Change up your hairstyle. According to, the average woman has 36 different hairstyles during her lifetime. Don’t be afraid to switch it up. Want to try bangs? Why not? Dye your hair? Go for it! Even if you just part your hair differently, changing your hairstyle can make a big difference. This is one of the most cliche things women do to reinvent themselves after a breakup, but hey, it works!
  4. Learn a new skill. Why sit on the couch and be lonely, when you could be using that time to learn something new? Some women like to take online courses after a breakup. Other women might even go back to school and get their master’s degrees. If there’s something you want to learn more about, now is the perfect time to start! If you can’t think of anything, try learning Pilates, a new language, or something crafty like crochet.
  5. Buy a different kind of shampoo. Or toothpaste, or laundry detergent. Switching shampoo brands can help you feel like a new person. It feels different, smells different, and gives you a chance to buy new products. No need to be stuck with the same toothpaste your whole life! Plus, the new fragrance might help your subconscious mind move on from the breakup, since the new scents won’t bring back any old memories.
  6. Learn ways to de-stress. According to stereotypes, after a breakup, most women will cry for weeks and eat tubs of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream with a spoon. While this is certainly a normal reaction (especially for the first 24 hours), it’s not healthy. So after your ice cream and Kleenex party, start learning some new ways to calm down when you start feeling sad or stressed out. Instead of eating a whole carton of ice cream, eat a couple of spoonfuls and then go for a walk around the block. Instead of watching Netflix all day, try signing up for a yoga class or listening to some music.
  7. Clean out your music playlists. Speaking of music, I’m sure you still have some songs that bring back special memories. Maybe you had a song that reminds you of your ex’s smile, or you have a song that was your “special song.” Take five minutes to get these songs off your playlist. If you hear these songs and they make you sad, it’s going to make your recovery take a lot longer. This doesn’t mean you have to delete all your music, just clear it off your main playlists so it doesn’t make you sad in the middle of your morning commute.
  8. Visit new restaurants. Restaurants can be tricky when you’re in the post-breakup stage. However, don’t stay inside by yourself all day— if you can go outside safely, take a Friday night to go out with your girlfriends, or your mom, or anyone else you might not have seen while you were dating. Try new restaurants in your area, and see what happens. Sometimes, you can live right by a diner with the best crepes and never even realize it! (Seriously. It took three years before someone told me to try the crepes.)
  9. Practice being assertive. Being assertive is easier for some of us than others, but it’s one of those soft skills that once you get good at it, you’ll be able to go far in life. You might be able to find a leadership class online, or you could simply start saying no to things you don’t need to do. If you focus on acting assertive, over time, you’ll get better at it. Soon enough, you’ll be able to control a lot more of your life than you thought you could.
  10. Practice daily affirmations. If you’re still having a hard time after the breakup, start giving yourself some positive self-talk. When you look in the mirror, say to yourself, “You are an amazing person and you are improving yourself every single day.” You could also look up a list of positive affirmations to tell yourself. Do this every day, and after a month or two, you’ll start to feel a lot more positive about yourself, your present situation, and your future. If you can reinvent yourself after your breakup, imagine what you can do in life!
Lauryn is a writer and blogger who hails from California. She loves big dogs, fuzzy blankets, and hot cheetos.