How To Restore Your Faith In Dating After Too Many Disappointments

How To Restore Your Faith In Dating After Too Many Disappointments ©iStock/mapodile

When it comes to dating, some people have it easy. They meet the love of their lives early on, and therefore have no idea what you’re talking about when you complain about how infuriating modern dating can sometimes be. Even the people who used to be in your shoes but are now comfortably in a relationship are saying things like, “You’ll meet someone when you stop looking.” Easy for them to say, right? It might be difficult to stay positive when you’re always disappointed, but one thing’s for sure— giving up hope won’t get you anywhere either. Here’s how to restore your faith in dating even when things haven’t been going well in the love department for a while.

1. Lower your expectations (but not too much).

If you go on every date hoping this will be the day you meet the love of your life, you’re going to be disappointed more often than not. Even a bad date can be a great learning experience, so try not to take it quite so seriously.

2. Make friendship a first priority.

Instead of seeing every guy you meet as a potential date, try getting to know them on a friend level first. That way you’ll end up going on a lot less terrible dates and hopefully the ones you do go on are more worth your time.

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4. Stop using Tinder to find dates.

Most guys one Tinder aren’t looking for much beyond a one night stand. If all your dates are with guys who ask you your bra size and your favourite sexual position within minutes of starting a conversation, it’s no wonder you’ve lost all faith in dating.

5. Finally agree to go out on a few blind dates.

Sure, it’s preferable if you meet someone naturally without the forced feeling of a set up, but sometimes it doesn’t work that way. Meeting someone through a mutual friend is the safest way to go, so take advantage of your extended social circle, and you’re bound to find at least one person you like.

6. Remember that dating is supposed to be fun.

When your dates are starting to feel like job interviews, you’re doing something wrong. Instead of going to Starbucks with every guy, try something new. Then even if your date ends up being a dud, at least you still got to try the new Indian place you’ve been wanting to check out for ages.

7. Learn to laugh at the dates that don’t go so well.

If you never go on a bad date, you won’t have anything to compare your good dates to, right? Also, people love hearing about bad dates, so at least you’ll have a good story for your friends on your next girls’ night out.

8. Don’t go on a date with everyone who asks.

You might think the more dates you go on, the higher your chances of having at least one good one. That may be true, but with that strategy, you’re going to have some bad ones, too. If the thought of that is exhausting, just start being more selective about who you go out with. You aren’t obligated to give everyone a chance, so if you aren’t interested, don’t waste your time.

9. If you like someone, make the first move.

Waiting around for a guy to ask you out can sometimes be an exercise in futility. If you have a good feeling about him, there’s no reason why you can’t make the first move. If you already know you like him, that’s half the battle.

10. Take a break.

If you’re starting to get burnt out on the whole dating scene, maybe it’s time to take a breather. Take some time to focus on yourself for awhile, and then when you decide to go on a date again, it will be because you really want to, not just because you’re in the routine.

11. Enjoy the single life.

If you’re happy being single, you won’t have that desperate have-to-date-everyone-or-I’ll-end-up-alone feeling. Bad dates are happening because you go out with people you don’t really want to go out with. You don’t have to go on a date every weekend in order to find someone. Dating should be about quality, not quantity.

By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.