How To Seduce A Man Without Feeling Or Looking Like An Idiot

For most of us, trying to seduce someone is like walking a tightrope between complete invisibility and public humiliation. If you’re in a similar position, tapping into your innate seductive powers is like trying to read a book with a blindfold on. Here are a few tips that will not only allow you to maintain your dignity but also give you the confidence to seduce a man with ease.

  1. Avoid copying others. Seduction requires absolute authenticity: If you aren’t feeling it, neither is he. This means that, unfortunately, mimicking what you see in movies and TV will be your downfall. Part of the journey to becoming a first-class seductress is figuring out how you can tap into your instinctive seductive powers, and sometimes that requires a bit of trial and error. Be fearless! Failure will be your best teacher, and there are always more fish in the sea.
  2. Find what makes you feel sexy. Being yourself will make you more successful than trying to be someone you think other people find sexy. Confidence in yourself is the first step to be irresistible. If lipstick makes you feel invincible, arm yourself with your favorite shade. If perfume makes you feel like a sex goddess, invest in a captivating scent. Find what makes you feel sexy and no one will be able to resist you.
  3. Dress for success. We all know that most men are highly visual when it comes to falling for a woman. This doesn’t mean that you have to dress like a burlesque queen to get laid, but it does mean that paying attention to your outfit can pay off. It doesn’t have to be all boobs and legs either. If you feel more comfortable in flats than in heels, wear flats! The more confident you are in your appearance, the sexier you will be.
  4. Use conversation to be suggestive. Witty banter is a cornerstone of flirting. A good place to start seducing someone is by weaving in sexy insinuations into your conversation and seeing how he responds. If he takes the bait and starts flirting back, you can start upping your techniques. The key is to keep him guessing. Being heavy-handed could scare him off, so take your time letting him wonder if you meant to brush his leg or make an innuendo.
  5. If you feel uncomfortable talking, use it in your favor. You don’t have to use dirty talk to be seductive. If it feels unnatural (or downright funny), you can make silence and body language just as sexy, if not more so. Silence is mysterious and leaves room for other powerful cues. Eye contact, light touch, and moving closer to him will tell him exactly what you’re doing without risking being too heavy-handed with words.
  6. Show that you’re obsessed with him. Once you have a guy’s interest, playing hard to get is no longer a good strategy. Instead, make him feel like the two of you are in your own world. Maintain eye contact, laugh at his jokes, and engage in deep conversation. Flattery will get you far. Make him feel like the only man in the world, and he will fall under your spell.
  7. A kiss is worth a thousand words. It’s no secret that kissing is a prelude to sex, but it may surprise you just how much information our bodies and subconscious can derive from a simple lip lock. For heterosexual women, it’s been shown that kissing plays a major role in determining whether or not a man is a suitable mate. For heterosexual men, kissing is a way to transmit sex hormones that make the woman more receptive to sex. Plus, the more saliva you swap, the more aroused you both are, so don’t be shy about deploying your tongue.
  8. Be strategically direct. While seduction is mostly achieved through implication, being direct at strategic moments will seal the deal. After making your intentions known through eye contact, casual touching, and proximity, tell him what you want. If you want to go home with him, whisper it in his ear. If you’re already at home and want to escalate things from there, tell him you want him to take your clothes off. Simple direction after a buildup of physical cues will send him over the edge.
  9. Play the long game. One of the best methods to seduce someone requires patience. Building anticipation, heightening the mystery of whether or not you’re interested, and dropping careful hints in conversation will create intense chemistry. Send him flirty texts over a period of days. Touch his arm, leg, or back when you’re together, but never take it further. These things will drive him crazy. The more buildup there is, the more desperate he will be to take things to the next level when you let him.
  10. Don’t take rejection personally. Being sexually rejected is worse than saying “I love you” for the first time and getting “Thank you” in response. It’s humiliating, but it’s also an inevitable part of putting yourself out there. Just because one guy isn’t interested doesn’t mean that you’re incapable of being attractive to other people. You don’t know that person’s situation. He may be happily single, gay, or in a relationship. Maybe he just isn’t interested in sex right now. None of these reasons has anything to do with you.
Rose Nolan is a writer and editor from Austin, TX who focuses on all things female and fabulous. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Theater from the University of Surrey and a Master's Degree in Law from the University of Law. She’s been writing professional since 2015 and, in addition to her work for Bolde, she’s also written for Ranker and Mashed. She's published articles on topics ranging from travel, higher education, women's lifestyle, law, food, celebrities, and more.