Ever felt like someone in your life is playing fast and loose with the truth? We’re not talking about the occasional white lie here—we’re going deep into the world of pathological liars. These people are the experts in fibbing, taking dishonesty to a whole new level. So, let’s chat about how to spot these masters of make-believe.
1. Excessive and Compulsive Lying
These people lie like it’s going out of style, even about the most trivial things. For example: You ask them what they had for lunch, and suddenly they’re spinning a tale about a gourmet meal when you know for a fact they grabbed a quick sandwich. Lying is their default setting. Keep your ears peeled, and if you find yourself thinking, “Wait, that can’t be right” more often than not, you might be dealing with a pathological liar.
2. Inconsistent Stories
One day they’re telling you about their amazing trip to Paris, the next they’re swearing they’ve never left the country. The tricky part is, they might tell these stories with confidence, leaving you scratching your head and wondering if you’re the one who’s mixed up. A good way to catch this is to casually bring up past conversations — “Hey, remember when you told me about that time in Paris?” — and see how they react. If they look at you like you’ve grown a second head, or suddenly have a completely different version of events, you might be dealing with a pathological liar.
3. Lack of Guilt or Remorse
You know how most of us feel a twinge of guilt when we’re caught in a lie? Well, pathological liars seem to have missed that memo. Instead of fessing up, they might get defensive, turn the tables on you, or create even more lies to cover up the original fib. The kicker? They seem totally unbothered by it all. No blushing, no stammering, no “Oh gosh, I’m so embarrassed” —nada.
4. Stories That Don’t Add Up
Ever listen to a pathological liar’s story and think, “Wait, what? That doesn’t make any sense!”? We’re talking about stories that defy logic, probability, and sometimes even the laws of physics. They might claim they bumped into a celebrity at the grocery store, had a heart-to-heart, and are now besties. Or maybe they single-handedly saved a burning orphanage while simultaneously winning a marathon. When you ask for proof or more details, they’ll either get super vague or pile on even more unbelievable “facts.” Yikes.
5. Attention-Seeking Behavior
According to Psych Central, pathological liars might exaggerate their achievements, turning a simple “good job” at work into a standing ovation from the entire company. Or they’ll craft elaborate tales of woe, hoping to be showered with sympathy and support. It’s exhausting just listening to them sometimes! If you notice someone who always has to one-up everyone else’s stories or somehow make every conversation about them, you might be dealing with a pathological liar.
6. Lack of Purpose for Lying
Here’s where things get really weird with pathological liars. Most people lie for a reason, right? To get out of trouble, to impress someone, to avoid hurting feelings. But pathological liars? They seem to lie just for the heck of it. They might lie about what they had for breakfast, their favorite color, or whether they’ve seen a movie—stuff that has absolutely no consequence. It’s almost as if lying has become such a habit for them that they do it automatically—they might not even realize they’re doing it half the time
7. Defensiveness and Evasion
Try to pin down a pathological liar, and they’ll dance around the topic like they’re at the club. They might change the subject or they’ll answer your question with another question, leaving you more confused than before. And if you persist? Oh boy, get ready for the defensiveness to kick in. They might accuse you of not trusting them (ironic, right?), or claim you’re being paranoid or too suspicious.
8. Inability to Stop Lying
Even when they know the jig is up, even when telling the truth would be easier than tying their shoes, they just…can’t…stop. They might promise to be honest and swear on their grandmother’s cookie recipe that they’ll change, but before you know it, they’re spinning yarns again. Lying has become their default setting, their comfort zone. It’s like they’ve been lying so long, that they’ve forgotten how to speak truth.
9. A Pattern of Lying Over Time
This isn’t a one-off event. Nope, this is a consistent pattern that plays out across different areas of their life. At work, with friends, in relationships—the lies just keep on coming. And sometimes? These lies build on each other, creating this complex alternate reality. If you find yourself constantly playing fact-checker in your interactions with someone, comparing notes with others to see what’s real and what’s not, you might be dealing with a pathological liar.
10. Problems in Relationships
Surprise, surprise—pathological lying doesn’t exactly lay the groundwork for healthy relationships. One minute you’re supportive of their apparent struggles, the next you’re feeling duped when you realize it was all made up. People start to distance themselves, tired of playing detective in their own relationships. If you notice someone has a trail of broken relationships behind them, with people often citing trust issues or feeling manipulated, that’s a big red flag.
11. Self-Deception
According to the Newport Institute, sometimes pathological liars start believing their own lies. It’s like they’ve told the story so many times, that their brain just goes, “Eh, close enough to the truth, let’s roll with it.” While they’re trying to fool you, they’ve managed to fool themselves too. They might swear up and down that they climbed Mount Everest, and in their mind, they can see every snowcapped peak. This self-deception can make it incredibly hard to confront them about their lies because, in their mind, they’re not lying at all.
12. Difficulty with Consequences
You’d think that facing the music after being caught in a lie would be a wake-up call, right? But for pathological liars, consequences seem to be more like suggestions. They could lose friends, ruin relationships, or even get fired from jobs, and yet, the lying train keeps on chugging. You might see them go through a major blow-up where their web of lies comes crashing down spectacularly. There’s drama, tears, maybe even some groveling, and promises to change. But give it a little time, and they’re right back at it.
13. Lack of Self-Awareness
There’s this weird disconnect between pathological liars’ actions and their understanding of how those actions affect others. You might point out how their lies have hurt someone, and they’ll look at you with genuine confusion as if you just told them that the sky is actually green. This lack of self-awareness can be incredibly frustrating for those around them. This obliviousness can make it really hard to address the issue with them because, in their mind, there isn’t really an issue to begin with.
14. Lives in a Fantasy World
They might see themselves as a secret genius, just waiting to be discovered, or a misunderstood hero, battling against the odds. Their potential is always enormous, and their talents are always just on the brink of being recognized. In their world, they’re always just one lucky break away from stardom, wealth, or power. And the craziest part? They believe it. Trying to bring them back to reality is like trying to convince a kid that their imaginary friend isn’t real…it just doesn’t work.
15. They change their personality
Watch how they interact with different people. With the boss, they’re all business and ambition. With friends, they’re the life of the party. With potential romantic interests, they’re suddenly deeply passionate about whatever the other person loves. The best part? Each version comes with its own set of lies, tailored to fit the audience. This behavior is about crafting the perfect backdrop for their lies.
