How To Start A Conversation With Your Crush

Few things in life are more daunting than starting a conversation with your crush. Whether you do this in person or over text, striking up a conversation requires guts. But luckily, there are a few things you can do to make the experience go a little more smoothly. Here’s how to start a conversation with your crush without feeling too awkward.

  1. Make sure they pass the vibe check. It’s pretty easy to have a crush on someone you know nothing about, only to find out once you actually start talking to them that they’re a hot mess. Do your research here a bit. Check out their social media profiles online, pay attention to how they interact with other people, and just try to find out if there are any weird red flags there that might prove to be massive turn-offs. Your time is valuable and you don’t have much of it to waste.
  2. Bring up a common interest. The best way to start a conversation with your crush, either via text or in person, is with a common interest. It’s always going to be easier to form a connection when you have things that you both actually want to talk about. If you work or study with your crush, then it’s easy. You just have to bring up something to do with work or school. Or if you have mutual friends, those would count as a common interest too. But it’s even better to talk about things that you’re both passionate about, like travel or food or a social justice cause. You can find out about your crush’s interests by checking out their social media or talking to their friends (without being too obvious!).
  3. Give them a compliment. It’s hard to resist a compliment! Seventeen recommends complimenting your crush in order to start a fruitful conversation. While the publication reports that this will work over text, you can also compliment them in person: “Love your watch, where did you get it?” When complimenting them, try to include a question so they know exactly how to respond. Sometimes, people can feel a little awkward about receiving compliments. So asking a question with it helps them with thinking of their response.
  4. Send them a meme they’ll appreciate. This one only applies over text or social media. Sending a simple meme with no other writing can be an effective way of starting a conversation. While previous generations may not understand it, memes are great conversation-starters. Your crush can easily comment on the meme and then ask how you are, by the way. Try to send something funny that you know they’ll like. Or send a meme related to something you were talking about in person. Random memes that you haven’t really thought about might seem too out of the blue. If you need to, you can also send an accompanying text to give a little context.
  5. Ask if they’ve seen your favorite TV show. According to Women’s Health, talking about TV shows is a great way to start a conversation with your crush. In our Netflix-obsessed culture, it’s unlikely that your crush won’t want to talk about TV. Find out if they watch your favorite show or ask if they have any recommendations. People love talking about what they’re passionate about. So if they tell you what their favorite show is, ask them about it. Why do they like it? Do they think you’ll like it too? These questions can easily lead to a positive conversation.
  6. Bring up a memory you have of them. You don’t want to spend all your time going down memory lane, or your crush might not see you as someone with future potential. But bringing up a single memory can be a great way to get the conversation flowing. Just make sure that it was a positive memory for both of you. The best bonds are formed over laughter, so it’s even better if you have a funny memory to share.
  7. In person, make eye contact. When striking up a conversation with your crush in person, be sure to make eye contact. This will naturally get their attention more than if you look elsewhere while talking to them. Over time, eye contact can lead to a deeper connection. Therefore, this is a great place to start!
  8. Make sure you feel good about how you come across. Before talking to your crush in person, it’s important to feel good about how you come across. If you don’t feel confident, your insecurity may be obvious and off-putting to them. You can easily boost your own confidence by putting some thought into how you look. Go to a little effort to do your hair nicely or wear clothes that you feel good in. Hold a confident yet calm posture when you’re talking to them. Regardless of what you say, you’re more likely to keep them hooked to your conversation if you appear in a positive light.
  9. Ask how their day is going. Asking someone how their day is going, especially over text, is an easy and direct way to start a conversation. It allows the other person to vent about their day and if they feel like you back, ask how yours went. Just texting someone to ask them how their day went may make it a little more obvious that you have a crush on them. But there’s nothing wrong with putting yourself out there if there’s a chance of hitting it off.
  10. Ask “how” and “why” questions. Obviously you don’t want your crush to feel like you’re quizzing them, but you do want to get to know them and get the conversational ball rolling. That means asking questions that warrant more than a one-word answer. Asking them how a particular event happened or how they got to where they are now gives them a chance to offer a longer explanation and potentially give you other routes to go down. Same goes for asking the “why” of the things they say.
  11. Don’t overthink it too much. At the end of the day, you should have enough in common that you won’t run out of things to chat about anytime soon. If you’re actually compatible and there’s a possibility of a relationship between you, you won’t need to force things or face any awkward silences. Come prepared with a few openers and then let things flow naturally. You’d be surprised what you can learn about each other and how easily the conversation flows.
Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.