How To Start Attracting The Type of Guys You Really Want

Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in the cycle of unrequited love? You might be attracting people, just not the people you’d like to attract. Or maybe you’re just in a phase where it doesn’t seem like anyone is interested in you (which can’t possibly be true – you’re amazing). Whatever situation you’re currently facing in your love life, there are a few simple things that you can do that could help pull you out of your rut. Here’s how to start attracting the guys you want.

  1. Fix your mindset. Don’t roll your eyes at this one because it’s so important. Mindset is the key to controlling pretty much everything that we want in life. The universe listens to our thoughts and emotions and we get exactly what we’re looking for. If you’ve recently had some bad luck with your love life and seem to have only met people that you don’t like and you have the mindset that you’re jinxed or cursed, all that you’re going to find out there are people who aren’t right for you. Once you start telling yourself that there are some great people out there waiting to be found, you’ll start being more open to finding them.
  2. Have confidence in who you are. You know who you are better than anyone else. It can be difficult to stay completely true to ourselves when we feel the need to be like someone else or to change ourselves to gain someone else’s approval but that is not going to help you meet the right people. Resist the urge to shapeshift and be true to who you are. The right person will love your personality and would never want to change you, so the more of yourself you let shine through, the more likely you are to attract the people that you actually want to be with.
  3. Hang out in places that make you feel comfortable. If you’re looking to meet someone organically, don’t just hang around bars and clubs that make you feel anxious just because you think a lot of single people will be there. If you like coffee shops and bookstores, spend time there. If museums and art galleries are your thing, be in the places that make you happy and feel at peace. Sure, there might not be as many single hopefuls hanging out at the local library, but you just may meet someone who’s into all of the same things you are if you hang around places that are more in your wheelhouse.
  4. Curate your dating profiles to fit your specific needs. Most people meet online these days, so it’s important you go all out when creating your dating app profiles. If you want to make sure that you only match with people you know you’d get along with, the more specific your profile is, the better. List the things that you’re interested in and if you have preferences for what your future partner is interested in too. If you’re honest about what you’re looking for from the get-go, you’re more likely to attract the people that you want to connect with.
  5. Be upfront about your non-negotiables. If you’re looking for a long-term partner and you don’t want to waste your time on flings, it’s very important to be upfront with all of your potential partners about the things that you won’t compromise on. If you have values, qualities, or deal-breakers that are important to you, don’t tiptoe around them for someone else’s comfort. Just be honest and open from the start and it will eliminate all of the people that wouldn’t be right for you anyways. The ones that you really want to attract won’t mind that you have conditions and they’ll respect them.
  6. Prove your worth. You are a total prize and you deserve to be fought for and cherished. You have to see yourself this way and hold yourself that way in order for others to see it and believe it too. If you’re tired of dating losers who use you or play you, don’t even give them chance to by showing them how much you’re worth. If you’re confident in who you are and present yourself as the strong woman you are inside, players don’t stand a chance. Not only that, but guys that just want to use and abuse you won’t see you as a target because you’ll be able to see right through them.
  7. Avoid situations where you know negative attention tends to follow. We’ve all been to parties or bars where there seem to just be plenty of the kind of people we don’t want to hang around, right? Often in situations where drinking and other behaviors can lead to impaired judgment or reckless behavior, we tend to receive attention from the kind of people we would usually want to avoid. The person who only wants to be around you when you’re under the influence or in a compromising position is not the type of person you should want to be around and probably the opposite of the person you’re trying to attract. Like we mentioned before, hang around places where you feel the most comfortable and places that don’t make you feel pressured to act in ways that aren’t you.
  8. Offer the qualities that you hope to receive. People will often mirror our own behavior and moods back to us. That’s why it seems like if we’re in a bad mood, everyone around us also is. We feed off of each other’s energies so if you want to meet someone who is kind, friendly, and easy to get along with, you’ve got to be that kind of person too! We’re magnets for the vibes that we put out and if you’re constantly putting others and yourself down, looking at everything with a pessimistic mindset, and presenting yourself as unapproachable, those are exactly the kind of people you’re going to attract. I know the world of love can get rough and disheartening, but try to look at every day as a new opportunity. Rest easy knowing that your person is out there and the more joy you try to find in your life and in yourself is only going to get you closer to meeting them.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.