You might insist that you’re totally secure in your relationship and that your connection is healthy and completely non-toxic, but if you struggle every time your boyfriend goes out with his friends, that’s just not true. Whether you get jealous of his boys because they get to spend time with him when you don’t or you simply have no idea what to do with yourself when he’s out, you need to address this behavior and do something to correct it. Here are some tips to get you started.
Get a grip.
That’s going to sound harsh, but it needs to be said. Your boyfriend goes out with your friends because he likes to do it and that shouldn’t be a problem. It’s normal. It’s not a personal affront to you, it’s not because he doesn’t love you. It’s also not his responsibility to entertain you 24/7, and expecting otherwise is not only totally unreasonable, it’s really unhealthy. Get a grip and realize that freaking out every time your boyfriend enjoys social time without you is not okay.
Do something with your own friends.
When your boyfriend goes out with his friends, this is the perfect opportunity for you to enjoy some social time with your own BFFs. Organize a trip to your favorite local restaurant, go see a movie, go bowling, or even invite them over for Netflix and take out. You have your own friend group too (or at least you should) and your connections with them are just as important as your relationship with your boyfriend. Make them a priority.
Focus on self-care.
When’s the last time you ran a warm bubble bath? Gave yourself a mani-pedi? Went on a long walk for some fresh air? Did one of Yoga with Adriene’s classes? There are so many enriching things we can do for ourselves that we rarely make time for, but while your boyfriend is out with his friends, this is the perfect opportunity to do so. You can’t pour from an empty cup, after all, so fill yours up by focusing on yourself sometimes.
See the bright side.
Frankly, you’re probably looking at the situation all wrong. While your boyfriend is out, you run the show. You can basically be a bachelorette again and live the single life in all the best ways. Eat a bunch of junk food, wear your favorite stained, ripped sweatpants and t-shirt. Watch trashy TV that your boyfriend always complains about. Scroll Instagram for hours if you want to. The world is your oyster, at least for a little while. Take advantage of it!
Work on being comfortable with your own company.
At the heart of the problem here is the fact that you’re comfortable with your own company. If you were, you wouldn’t care when your boyfriend goes out with his friends because you like being alone as well as being in his presence. It’s important to get to this place where being on your own doesn’t bother you and is even a gift. Without that, you’ll never be okay in life.
Address the issue behind the feeling.
You can’t work on your issue if you don’t know what it is. What’s upsetting you when your boyfriend goes out without you? Do you worry that he’s going to cheat? Do you have major FOMO? Are you beside yourself with nothing to do and feeling bored? Figure out what the impetus behind your feeling is so that you can begin to change it. If necessary, don’t be ashamed to seek professional help.
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