How To Stop Being Toxic And Become A Kinder Person

How To Stop Being Toxic And Become A Kinder Person

We all have moments where we could be a bit nicer, and the good news is that it’s never too late to make positive changes. If you’re ready to drop the toxicity and start being a nicer person, here’s how to get started.

1. Actually listen to people when they’re talking.

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Don’t just wait for your turn to talk. Actually listen to what someone is saying, focus on their words, and respond thoughtfully. Ask questions, make eye contact, and show genuine interest. This makes people feel heard and valued, building stronger connections.

2. Give compliments that are sincere and meaningful.

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Notice the good in people and let them know! Complimenting someone’s outfit, their hard work, or a kind gesture can brighten their day and strengthen your relationship. Be genuine, specific, and avoid backhanded compliments or comparisons.

3. Take responsibility for your actions.

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Own up to your mistakes and apologize when you mess up. Avoiding blame, making excuses, or shifting responsibility onto other people just fuels toxicity. Acknowledging your errors shows maturity and a willingness to grow.

4. Be mindful of your words.

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Think before you speak, especially when you’re feeling frustrated or angry, Headspace urges. Words can wound deeply, so choose them carefully. Avoid insults, sarcasm, or passive-aggressive comments. Opt for respectful and constructive communication.

5. Celebrate other people’s wins as much as your own.

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Don’t let jealousy or envy get in the way of being happy for other people. Celebrate their achievements, big or small. It’s a sign of a generous spirit and creates a positive atmosphere where everyone feels supported.

6. Practice empathy and compassion.

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Put yourself in someone else’s shoes and try to understand their perspective, even if you don’t agree with them. Show kindness and compassion, especially when people are struggling. Remember, everyone has their own battles they’re fighting.

7. Set healthy boundaries.

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It’s okay to say “no” to things that drain your energy or don’t align with your values. Protecting your well-being is not selfish; it’s necessary. Communicate your limits clearly and respectfully to avoid resentment or burnout.

8. Avoid gossip and negativity.

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Don’t participate in rumor-mongering or trash-talking behind people’s backs. It’s toxic and creates a negative environment. Focus on uplifting conversations and positive interactions instead.

9. Learn to manage your emotions.

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We all get angry, frustrated, or sad sometimes, but lashing out at people is never the answer. Find healthy ways to cope with your emotions, whether it’s through exercise, meditation, journaling, or talking to a trusted friend or therapist. Learning to self-regulate can prevent you from projecting your negativity onto other people.

10. Apologize sincerely and make amends.

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If you realize you’ve hurt someone, don’t just offer a half-hearted “sorry.” Take the time to understand the impact of your actions, express genuine remorse, and make a sincere effort to repair the damage you’ve caused. This shows that you value the relationship and are committed to doing better.

11. Be open to feedback and criticism.

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Don’t get defensive when someone points out your toxic behavior. Listen to their perspective, reflect on their words, and consider if there’s truth to their observations. Being open to feedback is a crucial step in personal growth and becoming a kinder person.

12. Surround yourself with positive people.

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The company you keep can significantly impact your mindset and behavior. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, encourage your growth, and model kindness and compassion. Their positive influence can rub off on you and help you become a better version of yourself.

13. Be grateful.

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Focus on the good things in your life, big and small. Express gratitude for the people, experiences, and blessings you have. Gratitude shifts your focus from negativity to positivity, making you more likely to act with kindness and generosity.

14. Volunteer your time and help people.

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Giving back to your community or helping those in need can be incredibly rewarding, the Mayo Clinic notes. It shifts your focus from yourself to other people and encourages empathy and compassion. Volunteering can also boost your mood and sense of purpose.

15. Take care of yourself.

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Self-care is not selfish; it’s essential for maintaining your well-being. Get enough sleep, eat nutritious food, exercise regularly, and engage in activities that bring you joy. When you’re well-rested and taking care of yourself, you’re less likely to be reactive and more likely to treat people with kindness.

16. Be patient with yourself.

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Changing your behavior and cultivating kindness takes time and effort. Don’t get discouraged by setbacks or slip-ups. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and remember that every small step counts. With consistent effort and a willingness to learn, you can transform into a kinder, more compassionate person.

Sinitta Weston grew up in Edinburgh but moved to Sydney, Australia to for college and never came back. She works as a chemical engineer during the day and at night, she writes articles about love and relationships. She's her friends' go-to for dating advice (though she struggles to take the same advice herself). Her INFJ personality makes her extra sensitive to others' feelings and this allows her to help people through tough times with ease. Hopefully, her articles can do that for you.