How To Stop Hating Yourself And Find Self-Love

You’ve heard it said before that we’re our own worst critics, and while it makes sense the pinpoint things you’re unhappy about in order to change them, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love yourself as-is because you’re worthy of that. It’s time to stop hating yourself and start working towards finding a deep sense of self-love to last you a lifetime.

  1. Utilize positive self-talk. Always using negative language toward yourself won’t help you any. Once you start, it’s hard to stop until you’re in a neverending downward spiral. You won’t need to drag yourself out of a dark place if you don’t put yourself there. One way to do that is by practicing positive self-talk. Practice having compassion with yourself. Don’t internally scold yourself if you make a mistake. Instead, ask what you can learn from that moment. You can also make a list of all the things you admire about yourself or how well you handled difficult situations throughout the day.
  2. Confront your inner critic. Imagine the way you talk to yourself is how a friend talks to themself. Would you allow their negative self-talk to happen? A good friend wouldn’t. A good friend would ensure they know their self-worth. Think of yourself as that friend. Confront your inner critic by saying what you would say to a hurt friend. Building a strong internal dialogue takes time, but with practice, you’ll get there. It takes a little bit of effort each day to start seeing progress.
  3. Understand social media is a highlight reel. Social media as a whole can be incredibly harmful. It makes it too easy to filter our lives. Instead of showing what really goes on, we’re only shown the best parts, and the end result is a distorted version of reality. All people see is perfection. Perfectly styled homes, outfits, makeup, and hairstyles. Post after post of photos and videos like those will have you feeling ungrateful for what you do have, leading to self-loathing. Don’t fall into this trap. Limit your time on social media and when you are on the apps, remember what you’re seeing are only people’s highlights.
  4. Forgive yourself. Mistakes happen. They’re a part of life. To not make a mistake is to not live life at all. When they happen, they happen for a reason. It’s your job to take in the lesson. It’s hard at first, especially if you have a tendency to beat yourself up after something bad happens, but to heal from every mistake means to forgive yourself. You’ll realize you can’t change what happened and eventually accept the current situation. It’ll also make you more understanding and forgiving toward others too.
  5. Limit self-pleasuring habits. No, we’re not talking about that kind of self-pleasuring. It’s the guilty pleasures like binge-watching Netflix, gaming all day, or eating all the dessert you can handle. Allowing yourself some R&R with your favorite show, game, or dessert isn’t bad. What makes it bad is when you allow yourself them all the time. Think of it as self-hate in disguise. You’re allowing yourself to indulge in these pleasures as a way to avoid failure or fear. Instead of acting on your dreams, you’d rather hide away than risk failing. It’s all about knowing when your habits are hurting instead of helping you.
  6. Seek professional help. Self-loathing often stems from trauma. If this is the case for you, it’s okay to seek therapy. Sometimes, we just need a third party to help us process our feelings. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’ll help you manage negative self-talk on a deeper level.
  7. Surround yourself with positive people. People who are always negative will rub off on you. If not now then eventually. And if you’re always trying to change their outlook on life to a more positive one, you might end up drained every time you see them. It’s important to take a long look at the people we surround ourselves with. If you easily pick up on others’ emotions, it’ll be hard to keep up your line of defense. Try surrounding yourself with people who are positive instead. They’ll help you see the good in life and yourself (of course, just watch out for toxic positivity).
  8. Turn your self-loathing into action. When you start feeling down about yourself and the world, that’s the time to look inward. What is your heart telling you? What do you need more of or less of in your life? Maybe you need to move away from your small town. Or maybe that corporate job just doesn’t make you happy while baking does. When frustration with yourself and your life sets in, listen.
  9. Dare to fail. Seriously! Growth and progress can’t happen if you aren’t willing to fail. Trying to constantly do everything perfectly will only upset you more when it doesn’t happen. Go easy on yourself when it comes to failure. Forcing yourself to be perfect only provides a false sense of self.
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