Whether you’re the one who initiated the split or not, I’m going to state the obvious here and say that breakups suck and are really hard. It’s even harder to stop thinking about your ex, especially when you shared so many memories together. It may not feel like it, but it is possible to stop missing them. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Here are 10 ways to stop missing your ex and feel okay again.
- Allow yourself to mourn the relationship you lost. Losing a partner is like losing your best friend. You spend a lot of time with them and invest a lot in your relationship. Don’t try to push all your feelings down, they will come back up. Instead, allow yourself to be sad for a little. Watch silly rom coms, eat a pint of ice cream, mourn the loss. When I went through a tough breakup, I watched Magic Mike by myself in my bedroom and ate a dark chocolate bar. Trust me, it helped.
- Distract yourself. Go see a movie or go for a hike and listen to a podcast. Travel to a shopping center and buy yourself something. Say yes to any activities suggested, even if you wouldn’t usually be interested in. Anything you can do to take your mind off of them will make it easier in the long run. If you want to stop missing your ex, you need to stop thinking about them, so this is vital.
- Spend time with friends. Your friends can be your biggest support system. Spending time with them, wallowing with them, may be the best thing for you. Sometimes, relationships can cause us to drift away from our friends, and it’s so important that you stay close with them. Your BFFs will outlast pretty much any guy in your life.
- Write a list of gratitudes. Remember the wonderful things you have in your life, and all the things you have to be thankful for. Write them down, and put them on your wall. Remind yourself of them daily. Once you realize how much you have now, it’ll be that much easier to stop missing your ex.
- Do the things you couldn’t do while you were in a relationship. Flirt with people, go on dates, meet new people, put yourself in precarious situations. Do all of the things you thought about doing when you were in a relationship, but couldn’t do. If none of these things sound interesting, try something selfish. Travel somewhere at a moment’s notice. Buy foods your ex would hate. Do whatever you have to to make a life change.
- Remove them from social media. The last thing you need when you’re going through a breakup is to see your ex on social media. Unfollowing may seem extreme, but you have to protect yourself. If you don’t want to unfollow your ex, mute them. Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook all have ways to stay friends/following but not see their stuff. Trust me, it helps.
- Do not contact them. It can be so easy to reach out to an ex, but it’s important that you don’t. You need space to get over them, and they need space to do the same. If the temptation is too strong, send their number to a friend and then delete it.
- Delete your text messages and photos that hurt too much. You don’t have to purge your life of all memories of them. This isn’t Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (we all saw how that turned out), but it is important that you delete photos that hurt you too much to keep. You can always save them to the cloud and go look at them later, but for now, get them off of your phone. You don’t need the constant reminder.
- Be active. Release that serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. Decrease your stress. Improve your mood. Being active is proven to do all of these things and more. Being active will not only help your mood, but it’ll distract you from it.
- Take yourself on a date. We could all use some time alone. It’s important to remember that the relationship you have with yourself that’s the most important one you’ll ever have. Taking yourself on dates can improve your existing relationships, give you time to focus on your own interests, and it can aid in your own self-discovery.
It may feel like you’ll never get over your ex, but you will. And someday, you’ll be all the better for it.
