When you like a guy but he’s not feeling the same way, it can be devastating and a bit demoralizing. You thought you were a catch (you totally are!) and that you had a lot to offer a romantic partner (you do!) but for some reason, he’s not on the same page and you can’t stop fixating on it and him. Here’s how to stop obsessing about the guy who’s not into you. After all, you have better things to spend your time on and energy on.
- Devalue his opinions about you. So what if this guy doesn’t see how great you are? His loss. The fact that he’s not into you isn’t necessarily a personal insult, and it certainly doesn’t speak to your value or any lack thereof. At the end of the day, he was just a guy you had a crush on. His opinion doesn’t really matter. Once you realize that, it becomes a lot easier to leave him in the dust and move on.
- Put some distance between you. This can be physical or otherwise. If you were friends who hung out together occasionally, that obviously needs to be knocked on the head for a long while. If you don’t really ever run into each other but you follow each other on social media or occasionally chat on WhatsApp, use the block and delete functions on your apps liberally. Out of sight, out of mind.
- Stop putting him on a pedestal. It will be much easier to stop obsessing over this guy if you dethrone him from the pedestal you put him on. He’s not some god among men. He’s not faultless, flawless, or any of the other Herculean traits you’ve assigned to him. He’s simply a human being on the same level as you. He’s no more special or worthy.
- Do some serious soul-searching. It might help to halt your obsessive tendencies if you actually figure out why you’re fixating so much in the first place. Is it because you’re struggling with being single for so long? Are you freaking out that you’re going to be alone forever? Did you simply want to win him over and are frustrated because you can’t? The sooner you understand the motivations behind your feelings, the easier it’ll be to move on.
- Find a distraction. Your brain can’t obsess over a guy or anything else if it’s otherwise occupied. Spend time enjoying your hobbies and pastimes or maybe even discover some new ones to keep your mind active and on something other than a random dude. It’s up to you to shift your mindset, and focusing on other things is a great way to achieve this.
- Boost your self-worth. Once you realize how worthy you are of a guy who treasures you and truly wants to be with you, you’ll stop obsessing over this guy because he’s not on your level. You’re not lacking anything, nor are you unworthy of him. If anything, you simply weren’t on the same wavelength and that’s probably a good thing. He couldn’t handle your greatness.