How To Stop Obsessing Over Someone & Move On

After a break-up, it’s natural to think about your ex constantly. But there’s a difference between thinking and obsessing. Obsessing isn’t healthy and can be harmful to yourself, and your ex. Here’s how to stop obsessing over someone, so you can start moving on:

  1. Don’t Focus On The Good. This might sound pessimistic. But the truth is, your relationship wasn’t perfect. If it was, you probably wouldn’t have broken up. Instead of romanticizing your relationship and focusing on all the good, remember everything — including the bad. Remember how much you two fought, how insecure you felt in the relationship, and how much you wanted out. Take the relationship off its high pedestal so you can start moving on.
  2. Block From Social Media. There are a lot of different opinions when it comes to whether you should block your ex from social media. The truth is, not everyone needs to do it. Some people aren’t tempted to check in on their ex. And even if a photo pops up, it doesn’t bother them. Then, there are other people who don’t want to be reminded of their ex every time they get on Instagram. If that’s you, go ahead and delete or block them. And no, this doesn’t make you immature. It means you’re self-aware enough to know what you need to move on. That’s the definition of maturity.
  3. Distance Yourself. This might mean blocking them off social media. But it could also mean avoiding places that remind you of your ex. You might even need to relocate to another city or state until you’ve had time to heal. While routines give us comfort, your old routine might remind you too much of your ex. Which is the last thing you want if you’re trying to stop obsessing. So, create a new routine filled with new habits. We’re not suggesting you change who you are. But changing your environment and routine can alter your perspective and hopefully, keep you from obsessing over your ex.
  4. Consider Why. Take a moment to consider why you’re obsessing over your ex. Chances are, there’s an underlining reason. For example, maybe you’re afraid of being alone or don’t want to start the dating process over. Sure, you miss your ex, but something else is causing you to obsess. Figure out what that is, so you can address it. Not only for yourself but for your next relationship. The more you work on your own issues, the better prepared you’ll be to handle your next heartbreak (fingers crossed it doesn’t happen).
  5. Try Not To React. You might think your obsessions are only in your head. The thing is, they can manifest in actions. One minute you’re casually thinking about your ex, and the next, you’re stalking their social media. Then, before you know it, you’re calling them 20 times a day. Your obsessions can turn into actions. That’s why it’s important to not react. Instead of feeding your obsessions, do something to distract yourself from them. Go for a walk, read a book, or call a friend.

How to stop obsessing over someone

  1. Obsess Over Yourself. Instead of putting all your energy into obsessing over your ex, start obsessing over yourself. Sure, this might sound conceded. But the truth is, you are the longest relationship you’ll ever have. It’s important you love yourself. Focus on self-care so you can build up your self-esteem and make yourself a better person. While relationships are beautiful, you don’t want your happiness to depend on someone else. And unfortunately, that happens quite a lot. Focus on loving yourself more than anyone else.
  2. Get Back Out There. Dating might be the last thing you want to do. But honestly, it might be the best. Meeting new people can be a great way to get your mind off your previous relationship. Not to mention, it can help you switch up your routine and introduce you to new things. Keep in mind, you don’t want to lead anyone on. If you’re not looking for a serious relationship, make sure you share that off the bat.
  3. Talk To A Professional. It’s important to remember you don’t have to deal with things alone. Not only can you confide in your friends and family, but you can also talk to a professional. If you can’t seem to stop obsessing over your ex, you should contact a therapist or psychiatrist. They can help you identify what’s causing your obsession and give you tips to help.
  4.  Accept The End. Your relationship is over. You know that, but have you accepted it? One reason why you might be obsessing over your ex is that you don’t really think it’s over. Maybe you’re hoping the universe will bring you two back together, and your ex will finally change. The truth is, no one knows what the future holds. But that doesn’t mean you should live your life expecting to get back with your ex. Instead, accept that it’s over and if someday things work out, it’ll be a nice surprise.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.