Thinking about every little thing your crush has said and done not only affects your mental well-being, but it can prevent you from enjoying what’s happening in the moment. That’s no way to live! Here’s how to get out of your own head and stop overthinking relationships.
- Listen up! If you’ve been thinking about something the guy you’re dating said to you or you’re dissecting it for proof that he really likes you, it can make you feel exhausted! Whatever you tend to overthink, pay attention to those thoughts. Listen to them. This can help you to figure out what’s rooted in the habit of overthinking and why you’re doing it so that you can stop it in its tracks.
- Write it down. It’s also useful to start journaling your thoughts so that you can better process them. Chances are when you read them, you’ll better grasp why you’re experiencing them and be able to delve into your emotions. This will also help you to spot any emotional blindspots you might have.
- Distract yourself. Seriously, sometimes the easiest thing to do is to put your mind’s focus off your thoughts. This might feel difficult to do at first, but it will become easier with practice. You could also tell yourself something before you distract yourself, such as, “I’m not going to catastrophize,” then go on and do something else. Sometimes when you take a break from focusing on your thoughts, you prevent them from becoming illogical or anxiety-inducing.
- Stop trying to control everything. Overthinking can be a form of control because you’re trying to figure out your partner and predict what they’re going to do. Take a step back. Remind yourself that you can’t control the people around you. You can’t figure someone out – people are complex and can change from one second to the next, so it’s pointless trying to do this.
- Don’t sweat the small texts. Sometimes overthinking in your relationship is about your behavior instead of your partner’s. For example, you might obsess about what to text your partner when he asks you about yourself. The thing is, if your partner’s going to judge you or go “off” you because of a silly text, then they were gonna pull away from you at some point anyway! So, don’t stress out too much.
More ways to stop overthinking relationships
- Focus on your environment. It’s easy to get caught up in your destructive thoughts and totally zone out of the moment. Here’s an easy way to ground yourself. Think about five things you can see in your surroundings, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. It’s a great exercise to get you out of your head.
- Delete his texts. It’s easy to keep scrolling through your partner’s texts when they’re sitting pretty in your inbox. You might be so used to overthinking everything that you’ll keep scrutinizing what they wrote and what the tone was… Enough is enough! The best way of stopping yourself from doing this is to delete the texts after you’ve read them. If a text stands out to you for making you worry about your relationship, you should consider chatting to your partner about it instead of allowing yourself to stress about it.
- Reassure yourself. One of the reasons why you might overthink everything in your relationship is because it makes you feel more secure. You’re trying to control and predict what your partner does so that you don’t experience something negative. Guess what? You can’t do that. Instead of letting that get you down, think about how you’ll be fine no matter what happens in the future. This will make you feel more secure.
- Stop ticking things off a list. It’s easy to get caught up on where your relationship is headed and what dating milestones you can tick off your list. But this takes you away from the moment. Not every date has to be about thinking about your future. Not every text your partner sends you is make or break for your relationship. Focus on having some fun. Give yourself a break from being stuck in your head.
- Step into the shoes of your bestie. It can help you to take yourself out of your thoughts by imagining what your best friend would tell you if you had to share your thoughts and worries with them. Would they tell you to confront your partner and speak to them about what you’re experiencing? Would they tell you to take a breather? This can help you to gain some perspective on your thoughts.
- Don’t make them your world. If you’re approaching dating your boyfriend in such a way that you’re forcing them onto a pedestal and are terrified of them leaving you, this will make you overthink even more. Try to see that the person isn’t the most important thing in your life. Yeah, they’re important to you, but they’re not meant to be the only person in your life who demands all your attention and love. They have amazing qualities, but they’re also filled with flaws, just like everyone else.