How To Take It Slow In A Relationship Even When You Really Like Them

When you’re in a new relationship and you want to take things slow, it can be difficult to know how to maneuver things. This is especially if you’ve moved quickly in all or most of your past relationships. However, it’s important to pace yourself so that you don’t miss out on all the best parts of the honeymoon phase — and so that you don’t miss out on any potentially serious red flags. Here’s how to take it slow in your relationship and enjoy the process.

  1. Take your time defining things. One of the biggest issues that pop up at the beginning of any relationship is defining things or putting a label on what you have. When you’re attempting to take things slow, try not to place too much importance on defining things right away. The beauty of having a slow-moving relationship is that it removes the stress of getting serious right away.
  2. Keep things light and easy. Relationships can often turn serious quickly, but when you’re trying to take things slow, there’s no need to get so serious so soon! Keep things light and easy and just enjoy having a carefree and light-hearted relationship with this person and don’t feel the need to take things to such a serious level so early on. There’s time for that!
  3. Don’t put pressure on them. If you’ve decided to take things slow and the person you’re seeing has agreed to this as well, you shouldn’t put any pressure on them to move forward without having a serious discussion first. The whole point of having a slow-moving relationship being able to relax and live in the moment!
  4. Avoid talk of the future. If you’ve both made the conscious decision to keep things light-hearted and take your time, it’s probably best to avoid talking about the possibility of a future together such as major commitment, engagement, marriage, kids, etc. That’s not to say you won’t ever have a future together, but when you throw those topics into the mix so soon, it kind of defeats the whole purpose of taking things slow.
  5. Keep your worlds separate. When you’re taking your time in a relationship, there are probably certain aspects of your life you want to keep private for the time being. Keep your homes separate, your pasts, your families, friends, etc. Just make your relationship about getting to know each other and taking things one step at a time. Once you’ve gotten more comfortable with each other, you can start getting into deeper topics.
  6. Don’t push physical stuff. Another aspect of taking things slow can also be holding off on physical intimacy. Sex can complicate things very quickly if you’re not careful, so if your intention is to move at a slow pace and see where this relationship can really go, try your best to go slow physically. Not only will this make things less serious early on, but waiting for physical intimacy gives you and your partner something special to look forward to and get excited about.
  7. Limit your time together. Many people who are attempting to take relationships slowly like to limit their dates/hangouts to ensure that things keep moving at a slower pace. You don’t have to necessarily plan specific days of the week you see each other but maybe you limit your time together to one or two dates a week. Not only does this help slow things down, but again, it also gives you something to look forward to during the week.
  8. Rein in your emotions. An easy way to go too fast in love is to let your emotions get the best of you right off the bat. Before you invest your heart and soul into this person, taking things slow can help you from getting so emotional and possibly causing issues early on. Keep things light and carefree and try not to overthink. Just have fun and take it easy.
  9. Maintain your identity. In serious relationships, couples can often lose their individuality. It isn’t necessarily a horrible thing, depending on the people or the situation. However, once you reach that point in a relationship, things start to get really serious. When taking things slow, remember to maintain your identity and keep being your own person.
  10. Stay mysterious. A little mystery always keeps things interesting and exciting. When you’re in a serious relationship with someone, it’s hard to keep certain thins to yourself. And to be honest, you shouldn’t have secrets. When relationships are new, though, it can be scary to lay everything out on the table all at once. For the sake of taking things slow, you should keep some things about yourself private and mysterious.
  11. Always talk before taking things to the next level. If at any point one or both of you wants to move things along to the next level and start taking things more seriously, that’s perfectly fine. Just make sure to have an honest and open discussion about it first. The key to this relationship being successful is clear communication. And, if you’re wanting to speed up a little in terms of where the relationship is going, you’ve got to be able to express that to your partner. If you simply attempt to speed things along without communication, it could cause issues and ruin what you’ve built so far. Don’t risk it. Just talk about it!
  12. Have fun and enjoy it. The main thing to remember is that relationships should be savored at the beginning. It should be a fun, exciting adventure! Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your partner to feel a certain way or do things a certain way! Enjoy the slow build-up of everything and live in every moment you have together. You may not know where your relationship is going in the future but you sure can enjoy every minute that you have in the here and now.
Shelby is a journalist and fiction writer raised in the South but built for the big city. She's a book nerd (well, an overall nerd, honestly) and coffee addict and obsessed with all things leather and lacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree in Mass Communication and Media Studies from Sam Houston State University and worked for her university newspaper, The Houstonian, as well as serving as a producer and part-time entertainment anchor for Cable 7 Huntsville. You can follow her on Twitter @shelby777.