How To Tell A Guy You Want Him Without Seeming Desperate

You’ve met a guy you really like and you’re sure you’d make a great couple. You’re interested in pursuing something romantic, but how do you tell him? You don’t want to seem like you’re desperate, so follow these 12 tips to make things exciting instead of cringe-worthy.

  1. Invite him out somewhere fun. You know what he’s interested in (if not, do your homework!) so why not invite him to an activity he’d love? This is a great way to have some fun with him and see how well you connect. While you’re there, you can throw in some flirtatious jokes and see what happens. Just make sure he knows it’s a one-on-one hangout.
  2. Dish him a compliment. It never hurts to find a way to tell the guy you find him attractive and sexy. A text telling him how sexy he looked earlier that day is sure to stay in his mind all night long.
  3. Check if he’s single. This is a great way to show him you’re interested. Why else would you be asking? But take it one step further and show him that you like it when he says that he is indeed flying solo, such as by giving him a flirtatious smile or biting your lip.
  4. Go a bit green. Jealousy can be a relationship killer, so you don’t want to go full green-eyed monster on him. But it doesn’t hurt to show that you’re a little jealous if he gets hit on by another woman. But do it in a light way, such as by saying, “You and I are better suited to each other than you and her.” Insert laughter.
  5. Lead him to the dance floor. Dancing with a guy is awesome because you can be a bit flirty and sexy without feeling like you’re putting yourself out there. It’s also a cool way to test where he’s at by how he moves with you.
  6. Let your body do some talking. Body language counts a lot when showing him you’re interested. Don’t be afraid to touch his arm during conversation or lean in towards him while listening to what he has to say.
  7. Show him he’s on your mind. Buy him a surprise coffee when he’s working late or send him a funny meme when you know he needs the laugh. Little actions will show him you care about him.
  8. Be a little cheeky. It’s good to be playful and confident, and it’s a safe way to express how you feel without actually saying, “I like you.” So, when he says that he has to ask you something, say, “Sure, I’ll go out with you” just to take him by surprise and see what he says. If he seems taken aback, you can always laugh it off – that’s where the confidence kicks in.
  9. Show him that he’s your type. Instead of just telling him that he’s your type (boring!), you can do it in a more creative way. For example, when he mentions that he was loyal in his previous relationship but got his heart broken, you can highlight his great trait of loyalty by saying something like, “You sound like such an amazing boyfriend to have.”
  10. Tell a mutual friend. No, this doesn’t have to seem like it’s been pulled straight out of a high school romcom. If you trust the mutual friend not to make a big deal of it, you never know – the idea that you’re interested in him could filter down to him and make him start thinking about you in that way. Your friend might also be able to give you some advice on how to approach him if she’s known him for longer.
  11. Ask leading questions. You could ask, “Do you think friends could become more?” and then take the conversation from there, such as by asking what he thinks of you. By doing this, you open up the conversation and see what he’s thinking. You also put the idea into his mind that you have feelings for him.
  12. Or, be more direct. If you’re sick and tired of being playful and dropping hints, you might want to shoot straight for the jugular. During a conversation where the subject becomes weekend plans, don’t be afraid to say, “I’d love to go out with you. Are you keen?” Phew, that wasn’t so hard, right? The worst that could happen is that he says he’s busy or not interested. His loss. But at least you know where you stand.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.