How To Tell A Guy You’re Dating To Marry Without Freaking Him Out

You want the guy you’re dating to know you’re here for the big commitment and serious vows, not just some “like you today, diss you tomorrow” BS. While broaching the topic might seem intimidating, you really don’t have to worry about these topics making him sweat because it’s all about the approach you take. Here’s how to talk about your marriage goals without leaving him looking for the nearest exit. Hey, you have to do it so that you can see if you’re in sync or not!

  1. Tell him you want intimacy on all levels. It’s not just about being physical but having emotional and mental intimacy too. By painting him this picture, it shows him exactly what you’re looking for – and is sure to intrigue him more than if you just say, “I want to get married.”
  2. Tell him you’re looking for someone to share your bright future. People are drawn to positive people. It’s a fact. So, if you focus on why your future is so bright and then bring in the fact that you’re hoping to have someone to share in your journey, he’ll see all the optimism in that and feel none of the cold feet. Hopefully he wants the same thing!
  3. Tell him you’re done playing games. This is a big hint that you’re not here to play hard to get or give him mixed messages, and it means you’re looking for something serious without actually spelling it out. If he has any amount of intelligence (and he must or you wouldn’t be dating him), he’ll get the message.
  4. Tell him you don’t want to waste your time. Maybe you’ve just met the guy on a dating app or in person. That doesn’t mean you should avoid sharing what you’re looking for. Telling him you’re done wasting your time in the dating game is another way of letting him know you’re not here for games.
  5. Tell him you’re drawn to genuine relationships. You could start by sharing a bit of info about why your previous relationship really hurt you because it was so full of BS. This could then lead into how you love the idea of having a genuine, real relationship and what that means. He’ll be dazzled by your passion and won’t see you as coming across as needy or clingy because you’re not! You just know what you deserve.
  6. Tell him your friends tease you for being the marrying kind. This is a clever way of hinting that you’re looking for marriage someday without making it seem like you’re ready to get hitched to the first person who glances your way. You can even laugh about it so he knows you’re being light, but if he’s smart he’ll see there’s truth in what you’re saying.
  7. Tell him you value your parents’ marriage. Okay, it might not be your parents whose marriage you look up to, but maybe it’s your friends or even Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr’s marriage. Whatever. The key is to show instead of telling so he can see what you value in life and what you want.
  8. Tell him you’re more than a booty call. Here’s another way of telling him what you want by stating what you don’t want. This will also prevent you from wasting your time if he is, in fact, interested in having nothing more than sex with you.
  9. Tell him what bores you. Do you get bored with the routine of casual setups? Do you get bored with guys who go AWOL after date number five? Tell him that you’re bored with all that so he can see what it is you’re really after – and he can hope he won’t be the next one to bore you. FYI, this will also show him what you’re not going to stick around for in a chilled way because you know you can get so much better. Nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants.
  10. Tell him you want to have long-term fun with someone. Who says a long-term relationship has to be boring or flat? Hell no, it can be tons of fun. By focusing on how you want to have that fun with someone every day instead of just once, you’re showing him that you’re looking for long-term love but without getting too heavy. When you show him how amped you are about your relationship goals, it’s gonna rub off on him.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.