How To Tell A Guy You Love Him For The First Time

You’ve been dating for a little while now and your feelings are only growing stronger. The more you’ve gotten to know him, the more you realize how perfect you are for each other and how much you value having him in your life. You’re pretty sure you’re ready to say those three little words but you haven’t decided how you’ll deliver them just yet. Here’s how to tell a guy you love him for the first time.

  1. Before you proceed, make sure you mean it. It goes without saying that before you drop the L-bomb, you need to be 100% sure that you honestly mean it. Oftentimes saying these three little words changes things in a relationship (usually in a good way), so it’s important that you’re not confusing lust for love.
  2. Figure out your motivation for telling him. If it’s because you think it’ll suddenly make him want to ramp up his level of commitment towards you or be the best boyfriend ever, it’s probably better to keep your words to yourself for now. The only good reason for telling a guy you love him is that you feel that way and want him to know. If there are any other motivations, however hidden you believe they might be, it’s not the right time.
  3. Pick the right moment. You definitely shouldn’t blurt out these words when you’re in the middle of a fight or when he’s angry at you and you’re trying to talk him ’round to being okay with you again. While there’s no one definitive “right” time to tell a guy you love him, you should pick a moment when things are really good for you or perhaps when you’re having a particularly good time together or doing something memorable or special.
  4. Be prepared not to hear it back. There’s often an expectation that when you say “I love you,” the other person will say it back. That may not happen and you need to be prepared for that. In a perfect world, he’ll reciprocate your feelings and feel comfortable saying so, but if that doesn’t happen, you need to find a way to be okay anyway. If he cares about your feelings and your relationship, he’ll hopefully find a way to let you know that even if that doesn’t include returning an outright declaration of love.
Jennifer has been the managing editor of Bolde since its launch in 2014. Before that, she was the founding editor of HelloGiggles and also worked as an entertainment writer for Bustle and Digital Spy. Her work has been published in Bon Appetit, Decider, Vanity Fair, The New York TImes, and many more.