How To Tell If He Truly Likes You Or Just Likes Sleeping With You

Having trouble figuring out if you’re more than hookup buddies? You’re not alone. When you’re in a grey area and haven’t had the exclusivity talk but you have a stellar connection in the bedroom, it can be hard to not assume things are going somewhere. But just because the two of you have a lot of fun between the sheets doesn’t necessarily mean he’s feeling the same way. Watch for the following signs that may indicate he’s catching feelings too.

  1. He Says Your Name In Bed. If you catch him saying your name, especially when he’s about to climax, then you know you’re on his mind. He’s not afraid of forming an intimate connection with you. Also, pay attention to whether he’s looking into your eyes during your moments of passion. All of these indicate that he’s really into you and not just the sex.
  2. You Do More Than Just Hook Up. If you’re spending time together outside of the bedroom, then chances are he considers the two of you to be dating. If it’s just about the hookup, he’ll want to keep things between the sheets. But if he’s actually interested in doing things that aren’t sex-related, it’s an indication he wants to get to know you better and form an actual connection.
  3. He’s Met Your Friends (& Vice Versa). Most guys know that you’re gossiping to your girlfriends about him. If he’s just in it for a short-term fling, he won’t want to deal with the baggage that comes with meeting your friend. But if he’s starting to develop feelings for you, he’ll want to meet your friend group to get their seal of approval. He also won’t be able to wait to introduce you to his pals to show off what a great girl he’s got in his life.
  4. He Talks About Future Plans. If he’s barely able to make plans with you a week in advance let alone even farther in the future, then don’t set your expectations high. He may only be looking for a hookup in that case. But if he talks about what he wants to do with you outside of the bedroom, then it means he actually enjoys spending time with you and sees this going somewhere.
  5. He Doesn’t Talk About Past HookUps. If he has no problem holding back about his past hookups – especially if he uses it to tell you what he wishes the two of you were doing differently – then don’t expect much out of him. A guy who likes you isn’t going to rub his past conquests in your face. He knows that’ll make you insecure, so he’ll go out of his way the subject of his exes and past flings. He’s focused solely on you.
  6. He’s There For You In The Worst Of Times. If he’s just there to hook up with you, he’s not going to want to deal with whatever drama you have in your life. But if he takes the time to support you and look out for you, it’s because he genuinely cares about your well-being and isn’t just interested in getting it on.
  7. He Opens Up About His Feelings. For most guys, it takes them a while to open up about their feelings. And even more, it takes the right woman. If he only sees the two of you as having a sexual connection, then he’s not going to bother opening up and letting you see a deeper side of him. But if he’s actually honest about what’s on his mind, it’s because he cares about forming a connection with you. If he’s direct about his feelings for you, then you can rest assured things are going somewhere.
  8. He Texts You Good Morning & Good Night. It takes effort to pursue someone. So, if he’s taking the time to send you texts when you first wake up and when you go to sleep, it’s because he wants you to know you’re on his mind (and he’s probably hoping it’s reciprocal). However, if he only texts you when he wants to see you for a romp, then it’s pretty clear he’s only interested in the sexual aspect of your relationship.
  9. He Pays Attention To What You Like In Bed. If he’s just in it for the sex, then his main concern is going to be getting his rocks off. The keyword is his. But if he actually likes you, then he’s going to want to make sure you’re having a good experience too. He won’t be afraid to ask if you like what he’s doing. He’ll follow up with you after the deed is done to see how you liked it and what he can improve upon for next time. Why put in so much effort if he doesn’t really like you?
  10. He Doesn’t Leave Right After The Deed. To be fair, not all guys are into cuddling. However, if he’s in a rush to get out of there right after you finished sleeping together, then it’s not a good sign. He clearly came for one reason alone, so why would he stick around if he already got what he wanted? However, if he wants to enjoy his time with you after you’ve finished making love, then you can be sure he’s starting to form an emotional attachment.
Alexandra is a freelance writer in Montreal, Quebec. She enjoys shopping as a sport, Buffy the Vampire Slayer re-runs, and being a plant mom.