How To Tell If He’s Cheated On You In The Past

Maybe he’s being faithful to you right now, but can you say with 100% certainty that your boyfriend has never cheated on you? Is there a fuzzy part of your relationship in which you think he may have had an affair? Here’s how to tell if he’s cheated on you in the past because you definitely deserve to know.

  1. He used to hide his phone. Maybe there were a few weeks or months in your relationship when your boyfriend was super protective about his phone. He’d take it to the bathroom, keep it on him all the time, and never let you touch it. It could’ve been the case that he didn’t want you to see flirtatious texts from someone else. Once he stopped being shady, he stopped being so weird with his phone.
  2. He went through a strange phase. For a while there you wondered who you were dating. Your boyfriend was suddenly interested in wearing trendy clothing even though that’s not his style or he was always working so hard even though he never had such a hectic schedule before. When someone cheats, they sometimes start exploring other sides to themselves, like by changing their appearance. And, they also use “I’m busy” excuses to be able to spend time with the other person.
  3. He doesn’t talk about certain things or people. When you bring up his previous co-worker who happens to be hot, he looks uncomfortable or changes the subject. Same for when you mention that boys-only weekend away that he attended a few months ago. If he’s getting so defensive or weird about the past, there could be a dark reason for it.
  4. He went awol for a while. A guy who’s cheating will have to distance himself a bit from his partner because otherwise, he won’t be able to give his time and energy to both people. If he went AWOL physically, disappearing for days at a time, or he pulled back emotionally, those are both behaviors that are commonly associated with cheating.
  5. He had an inappropriate “friendship.” This one’s a biggie. Maybe you remember when he was spending time with a specific woman that he called “just his friend” but it didn’t feel that way. She might be out of the picture now, but you remember how you used to worry about her and what their connection was really about.
  6. You can’t ignore your gut. If you still feel like your boyfriend did something shady in the past no matter how you try to get it out of your mind, that’s not something to take lightly. Something is still bothering you and it won’t go away until you deal with it. Trust your intuition! It’s rarely wrong.
  7. The start of your relationship was weird. When you first started dating, it felt like he wasn’t really into the relationship. This could’ve been because he was busy with someone else at the time. For example, maybe it took him a while to actually ask you out and he wasn’t really consistent with his feelings or behavior.
  8. He has a history of cheating. Linked to the above is if the guy has a serious history of being unfaithful in his relationships. Maybe he’s confessed this to you or you found out in other ways, but based on that history, who’s to say that he never cheated on you?
  9. He wasn’t open about your relationship for a while. If it took him a really long time to want to be open with others about your relationship, whether on social media or in real life, then you have to wonder why he felt the need to hide you for so long. Was he keeping you a secret until he could cut ties with others and commit to you properly?
  10. He accused you of cheating. Cheaters sometimes will try to act like you’re the one with the problem. So, they might accuse you of cheating on them even if you’ve never done so and they have no basis for making the accusation. If they’re feeling guilty about their crappy behavior, this is a way to make them feel better.
  11. He got defensive about cheating. How does your boyfriend react when you talk about topics such as infidelity? Does he become defensive, such as by declaring that someone who cheats isn’t a bad person? That should raise some warning bells!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.