How To Tell If Your Ex Still Has Feelings For You

You went your separate ways because you just weren’t right together anymore. You’ve moved one and the relationship is over, but are his feelings done and dusted? Maybe not. If he’s doing or saying certain things, there’s a good chance he’s not quite as over it as you are. Here are 11 signs your ex still has feelings for you.

  1. He still makes an effort. You’re not dating anymore, so why is he wishing you a happy birthday and remembering your mom’s too? He’s not your boyfriend, so why is he still reaching out to see how you are based on something he saw on your socials? Hmm. Maybe he’s just being nice, but what’s his point?
  2. He’s all about the deep talk. The guy doesn’t just send you a “hey, what’s up?” message on a Saturday night when it’s clear he’s just bored, lonely, or both. No, he takes the time to have real, deep conversations with you. He asks you questions and shows that he’s genuinely interested in what you have to say. Heck, it’s as though he’s just met you and wants to date you again.
  3. He’s checking in with others about you. He not only communicates with you regularly, having meaningful conversations but then he goes and asks your mutual friends how you’re doing. It’s clear you’re on his mind a lot.
  4. He talks about the relationship. If it feels like he’s always bringing up the past you guys shared, but not in a toxic way. He doesn’t try to make you feel like the breakup was your fault, but it’s pretty clear he’s got unresolved issues about the breakup. He might even be hoping you two could work on your issues now…
  5. He gets his flirt on. Now, sometimes guys who come back into your life flirt just because they’re horny or bored, but other times they really want to show you that they’re still interested. If this flirting is combined with meaningful conversation, then it’s a double sign he’s still got the feels for you.
  6. He doesn’t like it when you talk about guys. If you mention that you’re going out with a guy you met at work, he might fall silent or just seem like it’s bad news. That’s a clear sign he could be jealous of you and doesn’t want you to move on because he’s hoping for a relationship sequel with you.
  7. He stays up to date with your socials. He never wanted to cut ties with you on social media and it seems like he’s always keen to interact with you on them, whether that means “liking” or commenting on your posts or using them as a way to spark conversation with you privately. That’s the thing: he always takes the conversation further by wanting to talk on the phone. He’s stepping up!
  8. He never mentions other women. If he talks to you ad nauseam about the women he’s dating or trying to get with, that can be a sure sign you’ve skidded straight into the friend zone. But, if he never talks about other women around you while he’s flirting and chatting to you, then that could be a sign he’s actually only got eyes for you. It’s even more of a sign if…
  9. He behaves like he’s still your boyfriend. If he still does little things he used to do when you were together, like asking about your day in a particular way or sending you a message reminding you to have a great day, then that probably has made you wonder if he could still have feelings for you. The chances look good.
  10. He doesn’t know how to introduce you. When you spend time with him and other friends and he doesn’t know how to introduce you to someone new, that’s a sign that there’s still some confusion as to what you guys are now that you’re no longer together. A guy who’s moved on would introduce you as his friend, no question. But if the guy stutters or looks awkward, then it’s a sign he might be hoping to put the girlfriend label on you again someday.
  11. He’s manned up. If your ex has had a heart-to-heart with you about all the things that went wrong in your relationship and he’s taken responsibility for things he’s done that have hurt you, then he’s clearly trying to forge new ground with you. He might be hoping it’ll lead all the way back to a relationship, just a better, long-lasting one this time around.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.