How To Tell If You’re About To Be Ghosted

How To Tell If You’re About To Be Ghosted ©iStock/PointImages

Whether you want to admit it or not, you always know when things are going downhill in your relationship. You notice things changing — and not in a good way. When you’re dating someone for a couple months, there’s always a possibility that you’re going to be ghosted. So what can you do about it? Nothing — except recognize the signs and get out before it happens, of course.

  1. He starts canceling plans. If it seems like he’s breaking plans with you more than he’s making them, it’s not a good sign. Does he wait until the last minute to give you a lame excuse about why he can’t take two hours out of his day to see you? He probably never had any intention of following through with the plans you originally made in the first place. Save yourself the heartbreak and stop making plans with him.
  2. He’s suddenly very busy. No one is ever that busy. Guys make time for the people they want to see. Even if he can’t spend an entire Saturday with you, he likely has at least an hour to meet you for coffee. If he’s busy all the time, stop making yourself available. He’s ghosting you.
  3. His reasons for being busy are ridiculous. What’s that? He has to vacuum under his couch today? He needs to take out the garbage and that’s going to take all night? If he really wanted to see you, he could swing by after running his errands. If he’s pulling any excuse he can for why he can’t see you, he’s probably not going to be sticking around for much longer.
  4. He takes days to text you back. Does any guy ever go a day without checking his phone? Sure, he may be busy, but you saw him on Facebook and he’s opened your SnapChat. It takes about five seconds to send a quick text — even if it’s just to tell you he’s been busy. If he’s taking days to get back to you, he’s trying to blow you off.
  5. You’re always messaging him first. When was the last time he messaged you? If you weren’t the one to initiate conversation, would you guys even ever talk? What would happen if you never messaged him again? If he’s never the one to message you and the only reason you’re talking is because you’re sending him messages, he could be trying to phase you out.
  6. He doesn’t continue the conversation. There’s nothing worse than asking a guy how his day was, only for him to give you a one word answer and not bother to ask about yours. He can’t be all that interested in you if you always feel like you’re having a one-way conversation. If he’s not looking to continue the conversation, he likely isn’t looking to continue the relationship, either.
  7. He doesn’t spend the night. Did he previously sleep over every time he came over, but suddenly he’s leaving for the night? He’s slowly pulling away and probably not as interested as he once was. Unless he has a good excuse for not sticking around for cuddles after you’ve done the deed, he’s likely not looking for anything more than that. Don’t be surprised when he disappears.
  8. He only wants to “hang out.” If it’s only been a month and he’s no longer wining and dining you, that should raise a bit of a red flag. Is he just coming over to hang out on your couch here and there when it’s convenient for him? If he’s no longer making an effort after only three dates, he’s probably not going to be around for very long. Let’s be honest — you don’t want someone like that around anymore, anyway.
  9. Your dates end at 9pm. You used to spend all night together, and now he’s taking off the second dinner is over. He doesn’t suggest hanging out after your meal or going somewhere else. If it seems like he’s counting down until he can get the heck out of there, your ghosting isn’t too far away.
  10. He updated his online dating profile. Just when you thought things were heading in a more serious direction, he uploaded a new picture and added to his bio. One thing’s for sure- he’s not making these updates to impress you. He’s likely looking for some fresh meat, so don’t be surprised when you don’t hear from him.
Suzanne is a twenty something living in Toronto, Canada. When she doesn't have her professional pants on from 9-5, she is getting lost in a good book, a yoga class, or a tall glass of wine.
She has a severe case of the travel bug, a serious love affair with food and will never say no to puppy-sitting.