How To Tell If You’re Dating A Loser

We’ve all been there: the honeymoon stage is over and you start to see all those red flags you ignored at the beginning of the relationship. You try to make excuses for him, but you can’t help but question if all this is worth it. Are your expectations unrealistic or are you actually dating a loser? Here are 10 ways how to tell if the guy you’re with is low-quality.

1. He’s a jerk to strangers. Guys who are insecure about themselves or are straight-up losers tend to overcompensate by taking it out on strangers. He’ll cut people off when driving, be rude to waiters, or flip them off. If this happens and happens often, he’s likely a jerk to you and tries to play them off as jokes. If you say your feelings are hurt, or someone expresses concern to him, he’ll dismiss it as being sensitive or nuts.
2. Your friends and family hate him (or he hates them). Oftentimes, our friends and family can see the red flags in people that we’re blind to. They have our best interests at heart and want to see us with someone who treats us well. If your family or friends regularly express concern about the guy you’re dating, there’s a good chance he’s a loser. Similarly, if he hates all your family and friends and tries to keep you away from them, he’s the problem, not them. A good guy will always want to meet the people in your life and fit in with them instead of separating you from them.
3. He’s not a man of his word. Guys who are losers are notorious for saying one thing and doing another. He’ll lie about where he is and what he was doing or show up late and miss important events. He promises to change but he never does, no matter how many times you’ve expressed your concerns to him. Do yourself a favor and get out while you can. If he hasn’t seen the importance of changing his ways and keeping his word by now, he never will.
4. He’s selfish and self-centered. You should be a priority to a man who loves and cares for you. He will ensure your needs are met and will give as much as he takes. If your man is obsessed with himself and how he looks, and never shows interest in uplifting you or making you feel special, then he’s a loser. He will never compromise or sacrifice anything for your sake or the sake of your relationship since he comes first.
5. Your feelings and concerns are dismissed. Do you notice that whenever you have an issue, you’re called nuts or asked silly questions like “Is it that time of the month?” He’ll even make you reconsider how you feel and wonder if you’re acting out. That’s just his way of manipulating the situation. Then, your issue goes unresolved and you end up back in the same place time and time again.
6. He can’t keep a job. A real man can provide for himself and his family. Sure, life is unpredictable and he may get laid off or have to quit, but if it becomes a pattern where he is always between jobs or quitting, then he’s definitely a loser. Chances are, he’s just using you and your resources to get by and intends to as long as you will allow it. Don’t be surprised if he asks to borrow money or your car or pressures you to let him move in so he won’t have to man up and earn a living of his own.
7. He never admits when he’s wrong. A loser always thinks he’s right or tries to make excuses to avoid taking the blame. He’ll try to blame everybody else or even use things from his past to make you feel bad about being upset with him. He’ll even make up lies just to take the heat off him and never makes an effort to change.
8. You feel embarrassed in public. A good man isn’t going to intentionally embarrass his woman in public, and if he does it once, he’ll try his hardest to make sure it never happens again. If you dread going out with your guy because you know he’s going to embarrass you, either by pointing out things you’re insecure about or making you the butt of the joke, he’s a major loser. You may even find yourself making excuses for his behavior and apologizing to others saying “he’s not usually like this” or “he’s having a really stressful day today.” Not worth it.
9. He points out your flaws… often. A partner is supposed to make you feel loved and appreciated. We all have insecurities, and it is his job to help you get over them. But, if he weaponizes them, then he’s a jerk. He’ll say mean stuff like a dress makes you look fat, or that your cooking sucks. If you get offended, he’ll pretend like he’s just trying to help you become better, but in reality, that’s his way of controlling you or making you become submissive. It’s called emotional abuse, y’all. Save yourself.
10. He takes digs at you when he’s mad. Everyone gets mad, but there’s no excuse for verbal or physical abuse. If he gets mad and calls you names or worse puts his hands on you, that guy is a big-time loser and doesn’t deserve you. He’s never going to stop and chances are it will just escalate because it’s allowed. Get out while you can, before you end up with more than a broken heart.