Men are mysterious creatures and sometimes it’s hard to tell what they want. If you’re struggling to decode his behavior, here are 10 questions to ask yourself to determine what exactly he’s after.
Has he introduced you to his family and friends? If he brings you around the people closest to him, he probably wants a relationship with you. Most guys don’t bring a girl they’re seeing to a family barbecue or a friend’s poker night if they don’t see themselves pursuing anything more than a few casual hookups. Why would he invest that much time and energy? The only reason he’s integrating you into his world is that he wants to see if you fit in with his crew. If you do, he just might make your relationship official.
When does he call or text you? Does he text you as soon as he wakes up? That’s a sign that he’s thinking about you first thing. Does he only text you late at night? That’s a sign you’re just a booty call. Are you the only one initiating the texting or does he get in touch first sometimes too? It should be a 50/50 effort. Does he go several days at a time without texting or calling you? That most likely means that he isn’t that into you. Has he left you on read several times? That may mean you aren’t a priority to him.
Are you having sex with him? Are you the only person he’s having sex with or is he hooking up with multiple people? Are you guys doing other fun stuff besides having sex? If you’re only hanging out in his bedroom and never going to the movies or to grab a bite to eat, he probably only wants sex from you.
Where do you guys spend your time? Is he taking you on dates? Are you going to the movies and trying the new burger joint in town or do you spend all your time on the couch in his apartment? If you’re never doing stuff together, he might not be wanting to put that much effort into things. No one likes to Netflix and chill that much.
How’s the conversation when you’re together? Are you able to talk about deep things or is it all small talk? Is the conversation mostly sexual? Has he told you about his family and opened up to you about his hopes and dreams? Do you guys both talk or is one person doing more of the talking? These are all questions you need to ask yourself and think about when deciding what a guy wants from you.
Has he told you what he wants? If he’s told you he’s just looking for a hookup or a friends with benefits situation, believe him. Don’t try and hold out for more or hope he’ll change his mind. He likely won’t, and you’ll just end up disappointed and possibly heartbroken.
Is he in a place in his life to be in a relationship? Be honest with yourself about where he is in his life. If he just got out a long-term relationship, he might still be grieving or have feelings for his ex. If he’s only in town for a summer internship, you have to remember that he’s going to leave in the fall. All of these factors are going to affect what he wants out of the time he spends with you.
Is he involved with someone else? If he’s dating someone else, it’s highly likely he’s either just using you or he only wants to be your friend. Don’t fall for his trap.
Have you told him what you want? Have you been open and honest with him about what you want? If you’re looking for a relationship, let him know. How he reacts to your honesty will be telling.
When is he available? When is he available to see you? Does he make plans in advance to spend time with you or does he only call you last minute? Does he try to work around your schedule or does he only want to see you when it’s convenient for him? How much of an effort he’s making to spend time with you will show you what he wants from you. Remember the saying, actions speak louder than words because in this case, it’s definitely true!
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