How To Tell When A Guy Isn’t Being Honest With You

The last thing anyone wants it to be in a relationship with a liar. Openness and honesty are central to healthy, happy relationships and without those qualities, it’s doomed to fail. While it’s sometimes hard to tell if a guy’s not being honest, there are some crucial signs to keep an eye out for.

  1. He’s being super vague. You ask him how he feels about you and he can’t give you a straight answer. He seems to give you a long-winded and pretty vague response that doesn’t really leave you with anything. It’s enough to make you crazy because all you want is a clear, concise answer about where his head is at and what he’s thinking. It really shouldn’t be that complicated.
  2. He can’t look at you. If he seems to start cleaning the house when you ask him about his new female co-worker or he stares down at the floor when you ask him if he wants to do something on the weekend, that’s a bad sign. He would look into your eyes if he was being completely open with you and had nothing to hide.
  3. His friends act weird. Sometimes you can tell just how honest (or not) your guy is by looking at how his friends react when you ask them about his latest promotion or ex-girlfriend. If they seem to not want to answer you, or they’re just acting strangely, it could be that he’s told them to keep his secrets under wraps.
  4. His words and actions don’t match. If he’s telling you that he was home on Friday night but he’s tapping his foot or keeps clearing his throat, something’s amiss. Ditto for if he crosses his arms and looks away whenever you mention your future as a couple. He’s clearly getting defensive or feeling cornered. Body language doesn’t lie so pay attention to it because it’s more truthful than his words.
  5. He opts for a face-to-face chat. It’s a fact: sometimes you need to save those difficult or sticky conversations for when you’re in the same room. So much gets lost via text. However, if it feels like your boyfriend always tries to end the text or phone convo with the promise that you’ll discuss the issue in person and that day never arrives, he’s just trying to buy himself some time. It’s so sneaky!
  6. He’s overly defensive. He might roll his eyes, huff, or tell you you’re acting paranoid when you ask him about something that’s been bothering you and for which he doesn’t give you a straight answer. It’s clear that he’s trying to throw you off with his defensiveness, and that’s a classic sign he’s lying. Worse still, his reaction puts you down. So not cool.
  7. He’s always got the perfect answer. The truth is that sometimes it’s difficult to remember exactly the way things went – we all have those memory glitches and have to take our time to try to remember things from the past. It’s a red flag if you ask your guy about something that happened and he has a super-detailed and perfect answer every single time. It’s like he’s been practicing his answers, and maybe that’s exactly what he’s been doing. Yikes.
  8. His stories change. Keep an ear out for this one: when your boyfriend tells you the same story but the details of it seem to change, it’s clear that he’s lying. One minute he went to Harvard and the next he took a gap year. Or, he previously told you he never hears from his ex, then it comes up that they chatted recently. What’s going on here? This happens because it’s difficult to keep track of lies! As they say, the truth is easy to remember.
  9. He lies to other people. You know what they say: what your partner does to others is what he/she will one day do to you. If you’ve seen how easily your partner lies to other people in his life or is really masterful at doing it and not getting caught, what guarantee do you have that he’s not pulling the same stunt with you?
  10. He’s getting your gut riled up. No matter how much he begs you to believe in what he says or how much he acts like he’s telling you the truth, you just can’t get rid of that little voice in your head that tells you he’s not being honest. Trust it! It’s the most truthful voice.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.