How To Tell When A Guy’s Promises Are Empty

Having someone break a promise to you or fail to follow through on what they’ve said can be devastating, and you deserve more than a relationship filled with shortcomings. You want your partner to be able to follow through on their word, otherwise, you’ll start wondering if you’re the problem (even though you’re not). If your S.O. is guilty of any of the following signs, it may indicate that they won’t be able to deliver on their promises and it’s time to cut your losses.

  1. He Doesn’t Follow Through With Small Things. If he can’t follow through with the small things, what makes you think he’ll do any better when it comes to things that matter? Actions speak louder than words. So, even if he’s promised you the world, if he’s unable to meet smaller commitments, then there’s not much hope for bigger ones.
  2. He Makes Unrealistic Promises. If he promises you the entire world, then you can expect he won’t be able to give it to you, unless he’s some sort of magician. It’s lovely to dream big, but it’s not fair to you if he’s getting your expectations up. If his promises seem too good to be true, then it might be a sign that you’re in for a let-down.
  3. You Always Catch Him In Lies. Lying is a way to make up for broken promises. So, if you’re always catching your many being dishonest or making up excuses for why things aren’t working out, then you need to adjust your expectations regarding what he’ll be able to follow through on.
  4. He Lets Down Others In His Life. If your significant other has a history of letting other people down, then what makes you think he won’t do the same to you? If he has a habit of telling people one thing and doing the opposite or being unable to follow through, then it shouldn’t give you confidence that he’ll be able to keep his promises to you.
  5. His Goals Are Constantly Switching. Ambitions change as we grow. But if your man has a habit of constantly changing up his future goals – especially if he’s doing it to better suit a promise he’s made – then it’s a sign of flakiness. He’ll say what he wants in the moment to get people to believe in him but it doesn’t mean he’ll follow through.
  6. He’s Flaky When It Comes To Plans. Making plans is a type of promise, whether he said he’ll meet you at the movies or he wants to take your hand in marriage. So, if he’s constantly bailing on what you’ve agreed upon, even if it’s just a casual plan, it doesn’t bode well in his favor. Call him out if he’s constantly dipping on you because you deserve better than a flaky SO.
  7. He Tries To Charm You With Sweet Talk. People who make false promises like to flatter their victims with charm and compliments in order to increase their confidence in them. Perhaps you’re confronting him about a promise he’s broken but he follows up with some sort of flattery. It’s all in an effort to distract you from his lack of follow-through in hopes that you’ll look past his history of broken promises.
  8. His Friends Tell You Not To Expect Much. It’s never a good sign if your SO’s friends are speaking badly about them. But if his friends so much as a hint that you shouldn’t expect much from him, then you clearly shouldn’t. It’s a likely sign that he has a long history of disappointing people. Even worse, if his friends talk about how he’s let down past girlfriends, then it’s a sure-fire sign you need to reconsider the health of the relationship.
  9. He Can’t Take Care Of Himself. Someone who can’t put their best interests first isn’t going to be able to put your (or the promises they’ve made to you) first, either. Observe the way he treats himself. If he’s constantly failing in his professional or personal life, even if it’s as simple as lacking in basic hygiene, then you shouldn’t necessarily expect he’ll be able to do everything that he’s promising to you.
  10. He Can Never Commit To Anything. Perhaps the most obvious sign that he’s making false promises is a lack of commitment. It shows that he doesn’t have what it takes to follow through with something. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to commit or be with you. But what it does mean is that he struggles with flakiness. Remember, you deserve someone who can give you everything they say they want to. If he’s constantly letting you down, the right thing to do isn’t to adjust your expectations. It’s to evaluate if the person is giving you what you need, want, and most of all, deserve.
Alexandra is a freelance writer in Montreal, Quebec. She enjoys shopping as a sport, Buffy the Vampire Slayer re-runs, and being a plant mom.