How To Tell When A Woman Is In The Mood

You don’t want to ruin your chances with a woman by misinterpreting the signals she’s sending you. Initiating sex with someone who isn’t interested is embarrassing at best and disastrous at worst. To avoid this fate, here’s how to tell if a woman is in the mood for sex and ready to jump your bones.

  1. Her pupils are dilated. Sexual attraction induces a chemical reaction in the brain. Hormones including dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are released, causing the pupils to dilate. Therefore, if you notice that her pupils seem larger than normal when she looks at you, she may be sexually aroused. Alternatively, it might just be a dark room and the size of her pupils have nothing to do with you.
  2. She’s sexting you. This is probably the easiest way to tell that a woman is in the mood for sex. exting sexually explicit messages is often a precursor to sex. It allows people to dip a toe in the water to see whether it’s worth a swim. If she initiates and prolongs sexual content over text, it’s likely that she’s interested in sleeping with you. Don’t take it as an invitation, but be prepared for her to make a move in that direction.
  3. She tells you she’s wearing lingerie. A lot of women wear lingerie just for themselves. It looks good, feels good, and makes you feel powerful in your femininity. But if a woman tells a guy she’s hanging out with that she’s wearing lingerie, it probably isn’t small talk. Announcing to a guy that you’re wearing sexy underwear is likely meant as a signal that sex is on the cards.
  4. She touches your thigh. Whereas other locations of touch, such as the arm or the back, indicate emotional intimacy more than sexual attraction, the thigh, and especially the inner thigh, is a male erogenous zone. As one of the major pleasure centers of the body, it stimulates arousal. If she touches your inner thigh, it may not be an accident, especially given how intimate that part of the body is. She wouldn’t touch it unless she had a reason.
  5. She initiates sexual banter. While this doesn’t necessarily mean she’s in the mood for sex, it’s pretty likely. Does every topic you discuss end up as a sexual innuendo? Is she constantly making dirty jokes while making deliberate eye contact? If the answer is yes, she is probably trying to instigate sexual connection. While this is not an invitation to start ripping each other’s clothes off, it does indicate that she wants to turn your mind to sex.
  6. She invites you to her place late at night. Unless she wants a platonic sleepover, inviting you to her place at night is probably a booty call. If she just wanted to hang out, she would’ve asked you out somewhere to avoid the awkwardness of being in her personal space or texted you earlier in the evening when there was still time to do something besides have sex and go to sleep. Asking you to come over may mean that she’s in the mood and wants your company.
  7. She’s kissing you passionately. Kissing is one of our most established “mate assessment tools.” It allows couples to taste, touch, and smell each other, picking up minute data points of compatibility in the process. If she’s initiating deep, passionate kissing, it is likely that you passed the first compatibility test and that your kissing expertise has gotten her interested in more.
  8. She sends you sexy photos. If part of her sexting game involves seductive pictures, you can be pretty sure she’s interested in sleeping with you. No one sends personal thirst traps unless they’ve got their sites set on you. Beware, however, that this does not apply if you asked for the photos. If she’s sending photos because she feels pressured, it means she’s uncomfortable with you, not in the mood to sleep with you.
  9. She talks about sex. Some women like to warm themselves up by discussing the specifics of what she likes. She might also want to talk about your sexual history, whether it’s your best experiences, worst experiences, or things you’d like to try but haven’t. If she’s asking you about your sex life, she has a reason. Unless she’s getting intel for a friend, she’s probably thinking about sleeping with you.
  10. She tells you that her roommates are out of town. It’s difficult to imagine why she would go out of her way to inform you that she has an empty house unless she was signaling that the two of you would have complete privacy. Context is everything. If she relays this information with a suggestive tone of voice and a raised eyebrow, you can be pretty sure she’s hinting that it would be a good night to have sex.
  11. Never make assumptions. Even if all of the above signs are present, keep in mind that unless a woman explicitly tells you that she’s in the mood for sex, you can never safely assume what she’s thinking. Do not jump to conclusions. If in doubt, assume she isn’t interested or simply ask her. Nothing ruins a promising evening like misunderstanding physical cues. Get confirmation before you dive in.
Rose Nolan is a writer and editor from Austin, TX who focuses on all things female and fabulous. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Theater from the University of Surrey and a Master's Degree in Law from the University of Law. She’s been writing professional since 2015 and, in addition to her work for Bolde, she’s also written for Ranker and Mashed. She's published articles on topics ranging from travel, higher education, women's lifestyle, law, food, celebrities, and more.