How To Tell When He’s Lying About Seeing Other People

You’re happy together but you’re not officially boyfriend and girlfriend. You’ve pretty much agreed to be exclusive, at least, and he insists that he’s only dating you. Could he be lying and seeing other people behind your back? It’s pretty easy to tell — here are 11 signs that you’re one of many women he’s dating.

  1. He’s constantly “busy“. He’s always so busy, it’s become a curse word. Wow, work really takes up a huge part of his life. He’s always working late, on weekends, and he regularly goes away for his job too. Not only that, but he’s struggling to fit in time for the gym and other obligations and it makes relationships hard. Come on, can he be that busy? Even heart surgeons have social lives.
  2. He’s the king of canceling dates. If it seems like he’s always taking a rain-check on your dates, that could be a sign he’s got other dates planned. This is especially the case if he can’t give you a straight answer for why he’s standing you up. “Something came up” isn’t a real excuse!
  3. He’s a “we’ll see” kind of guy. If you’re seeing someone who can never make plans to hang out a few days or weeks ahead of time, that’s a red flag. You don’t want him to say “we’ll see” about going to a concert or out with your friends. You want him to make you enough of a priority that he can schedule dates ahead of time.
  4. He pretends to be spontaneous. Hey, it’s great if he really is a spontaneous guy, but if he’s always using that as an excuse for why he’s making last-minute dinner plans, it can start to feel annoying and like he’s hiding something. It’s also insulting because it’s like he expects you to jump when his other plans fall through.
  5. His home is off-limits. You suggested swinging round to his place after work, but he says that he’ll come to yours later on instead. This always happens. It’s a red flag that he could be with someone else. It’s especially disturbing if he always has some silly excuse for why his home is off-limits, something like “I’m working late and will only be home much later.” Whatever, dude.
  6. He doesn’t see the point of labels. Oh, whatever. Relationship labels are important. If you’ve been dating for a while, you want to see that you’re moving forward together, not getting stuck in a dating nowhere land. If he hates relationship labels or just doesn’t see the point of them, he’s really saying it’s not important for you guys to be official and exclusive. That speaks volumes.
  7. He’s sketchy about his phone. He always makes sure that his phone is far away from you so that you don’t see who’s texting or calling him. He’ll call out that you shouldn’t answer his phone when he’s in the shower, as though a bomb will go off if you happen to do so. Yikes. He’ll keep his phone in his pocket even when you’re chilling together. When he uses his phone, he crouches around it like he’s Gollum and his phone’s his Precious.
  8. He doesn’t introduce you properly. When you run into one of his friends or co-workers, he always introduces you by name. He never says you’re his girlfriend or even someone he’s dating. It’s even more cringe-worthy if he calls you his “friend.” Just to add insult to injury, he’ll act like it’s NBD. But it is if you’ve been dating for a while and thought you were exclusive. You’re not.
  9. He’s in a restaurant rut. Does he always take you to certain restaurants and parts of the city? If he’s never open to trying something different, this is a huge red flag that he doesn’t want to bump into someone he knows when he’s with you. Shady!
  10. He likes things the way they are. He always hints that he loves having fun with you and loves the way things are. He’s clearly not focused on having a relationship future with you, and that could be because he’s having fun with lots of people. Ugh.
  11. He loves your apartment. He always wants to hang at your place and this has become the norm instead of going out for proper dates. It might seem perfectly acceptable in the early stages of dating when you just want to be in your own blissful cocoon, but it can start to be unsettling after a while. It’s like you’re dating in private, and that’s what he wants if he’s dating other women simultaneously.
Jessica Blake is a writer who loves good books and good men, and realizes how difficult it is to find both.