How To Tell Your Ex is Flirting With You, According To A Guy

Things can get awkward pretty quickly when interacting with an ex. There’s so much history there and even if you know it’s better that it’s over, there are likely still some feelings involved. Because of this, it’s not always easy to tell if your ex-boyfriend is just being friendly or if he’s actually flirting with you and trying to rekindle things. Here are some signs to look out for that it might be the latter.

  1. He smiles a lot, often at nothing at all. That stupid grin on his face is there for a reason. If he’s flirting with you, it’s a pretty safe bet that he’s enjoying himself and smiling is the easiest way to show that. Either that or he knows he’s doing something he shouldn’t.
  2. He makes heavy eye contact. A guy who’s romantically involved with you, whether that’s your ex or someone you just met, probably isn’t going allow anything else to distract him. He wants you to know that you have all his attention, and that means there will be a lot of eye contact. It’s pretty clear he’s flirting here.
  3. He teases you but not in a mean way. For many guys, teasing and flirting can be one and the same. This is particularly true with someone who knows you well and knows how to push your buttons. You know, like an ex. As long as he isn’t going out of his way to be mean, it’s safe to assume that his teasing is akin to flirting. He’s just trying not to be too obvious about it.
  4. He compliments your appearance. There’s a difference between saying “you look great” and offering you a compliment on your appearance. The former is just being nice and polite. But if an ex offers a specific compliment about how you look, that’s a form of flirting. After all, he has nothing to gain by gushing about your appearance unless he’s trying to instigate a little flirting.
  5. He treats you like you’re special. The biggest key to figuring out if your ex is flirting with you is how he treats other women. If he seems to be flirting with everyone, it might be a coincidence. However, if he’s treating you special from every other woman in the room, he might have flirtatious intentions. He’s singling you out in a good way.
  6. He tries to pique your interest. Your ex-boyfriend knows little things he can do to appear more attractive to you. This could be dressing a certain way, telling certain jokes, or anything else. If you can sense he’s doing this, there’s a good chance he’s trying to flirt with you. Essentially, he’s using his knowledge of you to flirt. Only an ex could pull that off.
  7. He makes physical contact. This should be an obvious sign of flirting no matter who it is, but it’s even more obvious with an ex. If your ex-boyfriend is trying to flirt with you, he’ll have no problem breaking the touch barrier. In a way, he’ll resort to his basic pickup techniques. If he has no intention of staging a reunion, he’ll keep his distance and be respectful. If he wants to be a little flirty, he’ll be confident in initiating some form of physical contact.
  8. He tries to find out your current relationship status. In a way, flirting is all about being indirect and skirting around an issue. If your ex is being flirtatious, he won’t come out and just ask if you’re dating someone. He’ll poke and prod around the topic, hoping you’ll volunteer information. Whether or not you make it easy on him is up to you.
  9. He aims to impress. No matter the situation, guys who are flirting with women always feel the need to impress and pump themselves up. Even if you already know everything about your ex, he’ll still try to find ways to brag about himself. Even if you’re just catching up, if the things he says feel a little braggy, he might be trying to flirt with you.
  10. He brings up intimate moments. The weird thing about bragging with an ex is that you have so much history together. Obviously, he remembers the special and intimate moments you had together. If he wants to flirt, he’ll have no problem using those moments to flirt with you. It’s different if he laments the problems that caused your relationship to end, but if he just wants to bring up the good times or his favorite sexual encounters from your time as a couple, he’s probably being a bit flirty.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.