How To Turn Your Friend With Benefits Into An Actual Boyfriend

Friends with benefits might seem like the perfect arrangement between two people who want to enjoy each other’s company with no strings attached. But what if you’re ready to commit to the person you’re sleeping with and they seem to be enjoying the way things are right now? If you’re secretly longing for more than just physical intimacy, fun, and games, maybe it’s time to try and make him your boyfriend. Here are some things you might try.

  1. Break the barrier by being the first to ask him out. Sure, you’re seeing each other at random times throughout the week, but if the goal is to turn him into your boyfriend, try switching it up a bit. Ask him out for coffee, dinner, or a casual brunch to hint that you’re ready to push the limits of your current FWB arrangement. Secretly you know what you’re doing, but don’t call it a “date” when you’re with him; make it look like a casual get-together where you get to do things you don’t normally do.
  2. Drop the fluff and talk about deeper things. Normally when you’re together, you talk less and do more, but it’s time to change that. If you want to take things to the next level, you’ll need to open up and talk about the deeper things in life and allow them into your head and heart. It’s scary to open up to someone when you have no idea how he’ll react, but it’s worth the shot if you’re sure he’s a keeper. Who knows? Maybe he’ll start opening up too and from there, similarities can be shared a step further.
  3. Let him chase you. The goal here is to make him miss and want you. He won’t know your worth if you’re always available to him. The next time he calls, politely decline his request and do something fun with your friends. I know you’re probably dying to meet him, but remember the goal. When he realizes how much he misses you, he’ll most definitely want you in his life.
  4. Don’t be afraid to show a little PDA if he’s into it. It’s time to shake things up a bit and give your FWB a nudge he’ll never forget. If the goal is to make him your actual boyfriend, PDA is a good way of doing it, so long as he’s consenting. Sure it’s going to be uncomfortable for him at first, but if he reciprocates, it’s a sign he likes you in a deeper way. If they’re completely put off by PDA, he’s not the one for you, no matter how charming he is.
  5. Cuddle with him in your jammies. How many times have you cuddled each other and just binge-watched your favorite series together? Chances are you get together more for physical intimacy than anything else, and if that’s the case, try cuddling for a change. Your relationship shouldn’t be based on your bedroom chemistry if you want to turn him into your actual boyfriend.
  6. Pretend that you’re not trying too hard to please him. Wait, isn’t it all about doing everything you can to please him if you want him to become your boyfriend? Nope. If you give him the impression that you’re trying hard to please him, chances are you’ll be friend-zoned. The goal is to play it cool, no matter how crazy you are about him. The less you care about him, the more he’ll want you, and the more he thinks you don’t need him, the more he’ll try to win your affection.
  7. Build a friendship that encourages him to let his guard down. Become his friend and be so candid with each other that he feels comfortable letting his guard down. Only when you can openly communicate and share feelings will you know if you’re right for each other. Building a friendship is a great way to progress things further, and it’s a solid start to a healthy relationship.
  8. Reveal your true self and your standards. Whether he’s willing to open up or not, reveal your true self and show him that you’re a strong woman who knows what she wants. Don’t ever let him think that you’re in it just for sex or that you’re incapable of committing to a relationship because you’re desperate or insecure. He needs to know that you’re an independent woman with high standards for men you date and that you’re not afraid to go after what you want.
  9. Be honest about your feelings for him. If you don’t want to wait for him to realize that your FWB agreement is worth much more, why not tell him how you feel? If you’re sure the guy you’re seeing is boyfriend material, don’t beat around the bush, instead tell him that you’ve caught feelings and want to be more than FWB. If he doesn’t feel the same way, walk away with pride knowing that you figured out that he’s not the one for you.
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