How To Win The Heart Of An Independent Woman In 10 Easy Steps

How To Win The Heart Of An Independent Woman In 10 Easy Steps ©iStock/valentinrussanov

Being a badass independent woman is great. We’re the ultimate embodiment of strong, empowered vixens who go out and get what we want instead of politely asking for permission. Nothing is out of our grasp… except sometimes love. It can be tricky for us to find meaningful, lasting relationships because men are often intimidated by us, but it’s something we really want, no matter how much we value our freedom. If a guy wants to be with us, it’s not too hard — it’ll just take a little work. Here are 10 things he can do to win us over:

  1. Respect our autonomy. We don’t take direction from anyone, so we most certainly don’t allow guys to control us. If you want to win the heart of a strong, independent woman, you have to show us that you respect our independence. Any sign of controlling behavior is a red flag to us, and will make us run from you.
  2. Support our careers and dreams. We already have goals and dreams for our lives that are non-negotiable. If you want to be a part of our lives long-term, you have to fit into those plans, because no man is worth giving up our careers or life goals. We know it’s possible to have it all, but we also know it will take a special kind of guy to fit into the life we envision.
  3. Be romantic. There’s absolutely no point in dating a guy who isn’t romantic, in our minds. Romance is the entire point of dealing with a man, so if he doesn’t make us feel special, he doesn’t stand a chance with us. Strong independent women have no problem buying ourselves flowers or chocolate as a pick-me-up, so you at least have to be able to match the nice things we do for ourselves.
  4. Always be upfront and honest. We don’t put up with BS’ing liars. If a guy wants a chance to be in our lives, he has to be honest. We don’t need to know all of your deepest secrets right away, but we will find out if you lie. At that point, the trust is broken and you’ve lost your chance.
  5. Be open to a real commitment if that’s what we’re looking for. Not all independent women are looking for a serious commitment, but the ones who are don’t put up with players or players. If we’re looking for the real deal and you just want to play games, don’t waste our valuable time. Show us you’re ready for something real and we’ll give you a chance.
  6. Have career and life goals of his own. We’re defined by our strength and life goals, so we’re attracted to strong guys who have goals of their own. In our ideal relationship, we help our partner reach his goals and he helps us reach ours. Show us that you’re the kind of guy we could have that relationship with.
  7. Be fun and adventurous. By nature, strong women are adventurous. We didn’t get as far as we have in life by sitting on the couch being afraid. Our perfect match has to have a sense of adventure as well, because life is the ultimate adventure and no one wants to spend that adventure with a partner who’s boring and conservative. Plan some fun dates that are outside of the box and surprise us! We’ll love it.
  8. Respect us in the streets, but also know how to throw down in the sheets. It may sound weird, but strong women don’t want a guy to be timid in bed. We want to be respected always, but it’s not disrespectful to take control in the bedroom and blow our minds. In fact, it’s really hot. If you can find that balance of respect in the streets/magic in the sheets, you can win us over.
  9. Be there to help us unwind after a long workday. Bonus points if you rustle up some dinner, wine, and a big hug to welcome us home from the stressful business world. This is the number one best way to make us envision you as the one we could come home to every day for the rest of our lives.
  10. Listen to us when we talk about things that are important. Strong women do have a lot of stress, and it helps us to talk about it. If you’re a good listener and offer some insight, you’ll become that best friend we’re looking to spend years with.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.