How Women Perpetuate Sexual Double Standards

We all know that society has a serious double standard when it comes to women and sex, but there are plenty of ways in which women fail to set things straight or further perpetuate the idea that men can be sexual creatures and we can’t. Let’s put a stop to these 9 ways that women give credit to these ridiculous ideas:

  1. Blaming the “other woman.” It may take two to tango, but if your significant other cheated, the problem lies in your relationship. No woman “steals” your man, so stop blaming her and let the responsibility lie with the boyfriend that betrayed you.
  2. Slut-shaming. We need to stop criticizing other females for their sexual escapades. Bottom line: it is none of your business. A girl’s latest hookup or her number of sexual partners isn’t gossip and it isn’t your place to judge them on it.
  3. Excusing guys’ BS behavior. Stop making excuses for guys’ bad behavior. They blame it on their nature because you allow them to do so. Women have just as much of a right to fulfill their sexual needs, so stop letting men tell you otherwise.
  4. Failing to speak up. When it comes to misogyny, you shouldn’t just speak up for yourself, but for other women, as well. If you see a girl being slut-shamed, stand up for her and call out the aggressor. The only way to discredit the double standard is to stand together.
  5. Seeing women as “good” or “bad” based on their sexuality. Why is celibacy connected to being considered a “good girl“? Just because a woman has a sex life doesn’t make her a bad person, and it doesn’t mean she doesn’t have her life together. Sex is only one piece of life, so if you don’t know the whole story, you can’t label her as good or bad (not that you should anyway).
  6. Using the word “prude” under any circumstance. Too often, guys shame girls for being prudes if they won’t put out and then turn around and shame them for being promiscuous if they do. Sadly, women are guilty of this, as well. If the double standard is ever going to be a thing of the past, it needs to be just as OK to say no to sex as it is to say yes. 
  7. Enforcing ridiculous dress codes. Both men and women are guilty of making assumptions based on the way a woman dresses. It doesn’t just happen in schools  — women are judged almost everywhere they go for what they wear. As if their style is a direct reflection on their sexual choices. Guess what, it’s not.
  8. Competing with each other. If you see other women only as competition, you’re pitting the female population against one another. Rather than standing together, women tear each other apart when it comes to men. If she goes after the guy you like, she’s promiscuous or a whore. Is that really fair?
  9. Lack of respect. There seems to be this notion that women who engage in sexual activities don’t deserve respect because they don’t respect themselves. Just because a woman enjoys sex, doesn’t mean she doesn’t love herself, let’s get that straight. She’s a person and deserves respect, regardless of her sex life.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.