How You Know You’re Finally Dating A Grown Man

Casual dating and casual sex can be a lot of fun, but when you’re looking for something serious, you have to be smart about the guys you’re choosing. You don’t want to try to develop a deep relationship, or a future, with a man who isn’t ready. Here’s how you can tell if you’re finally dating a real man:

  1. He embraces your crazy side. A real man understands that being human means being a little bit crazy. Especially when you have found something that’s worth being crazy over. They get it and they don’t freak out over it.
  2. He doesn’t freak out over guy friends. A real man is confident enough to not be threatened by guy friends. He’ll try to befriend them himself and usually succeeds. He knows that you’re with him for a reason and wouldn’t let petty jealousy get in the way.
  3. He has a good work ethic. He has a job and he shows up every day, on time. He takes pride in building his career and being self-sufficient, and he’s about as far from lazy as you could get. He also appreciates how much you’re killin’ it at work and is always there to encourage you to pursue your dreams.
  4. He understands that time of the month. He doesn’t make fun of it, use it to make you feel bad, or shrug it off like it’s not a big deal. A real man buys you chocolate and tampons when you run out and is always happy to split a pizza with you and veg out on the couch.
  5. He lets you hold the popcorn bowl. This might sound funny, but it has so much meaning. If he lets you hold the popcorn bowl, he’ll probably let you hold the remote. If he lets you hold the remote, he’ll probably let you make big decisions, too, because he trusts your judgment.
  6. He has a strong relationship with his family. He understands the importance of family ties and works to maintain them, no matter how busy he gets. Now, this isn’t to say that men who don’t have a relationship with their messed up families are childish. In this case, a real man understands he needs boundaries with toxic people.
  7. He takes you to the movies you want to see. Even if it’s something he’s not interested in, he’ll still go to the movie theater with you and sit next to you for two hours. He sacrifices these little things because he knows that the little things matter (and he knows you’d do the same for him).
  8. He doesn’t freak out when you talk about the future. A grown man doesn’t get weirded out by conversations about weddings, kids or houses. Sure, date two might stir some caution from him, but ultimately, he understands that ALL people who want these things are going to talk about them.
  9. He’s interested in your passions. A real man loves a woman with passion and he knows that part of a mature relationship means being interested in her passions, just as you’re interested in his. While you both have hobbies that are uniquely your own, he loves learning about what makes you tick.
  10. He’s honest, even if it would be easier to lie. He doesn’t sugar coat things and tells it like it is. Childish men make excuses, lie about stupid stuff, and are ultimately the cause for their own dysfunction. He knows it’s less hurtful to hear the truth than it is to discover you’ve been lied to.
  11. He makes an effort to get to know your friends and family. They can be crazy and over-the-top sometimes, but anyone that’s important to you is important to him, too. He wants to be in your life for a long time, so it’s worth the effort.
  12. He’s unquestionably loyal. He doesn’t cheat, hide shady texts, or give you cause to worry about going out without him. He’s loyal because a grown man doesn’t want to waste his time or yours.
  13. He understands a woman’s body. In its flaws, beauty and between the sheets, a grown man understands that once a month, you’ll gain a few pounds. Or that after you have his baby, your body will look different. He knows a woman’s body is beautiful and complex. And he knows how to work it in bed.
Kasandra Lynn is a freelance writer and blogger living in a small town. She is an aspiring novelist with a BA in English, has completed 2 novels, writes for multiple non-profit organizations and gets her blog,, published in a weekly column for her local newspaper.