I Actually Like My Partner More When We See Each Other Less

It’s natural to want to spend as much time as possible with your significant other especially when the relationship is new. But just because you’re dating someone doesn’t mean you have to spend every waking moment together. It’s important to maintain your own identity. There are a lot of reasons why I like spending time apart from my partner.

  1. We have our differences. For example, we have very opposing political views. Most of the time we have positive discussions, but sometimes we argue. We went out to dinner recently and had a great time up until we started talking about politics. It basically ruined our night. It’s normal that we don’t get along all of the time since we are different people, but it does mean that I need my space sometimes.
  2. He annoys me if he’s around too much. I love him to death, but he irritates me about 80% of the time. The other day, he woke me up to tell me that the NBA shut down because of the current health crisis. Is that interesting? Sure. Do I want to be woken up because of it? I absolutely do not. When he’s not there, these kinds of things don’t happen. I can get my much-needed sleep and I avoid wanting to kill him.
  3. We fight less. Spending a lot of time together creates tension. Little things seem to build up into bigger issues. When he’s not around, we have a lot fewer arguments. We appreciate our time together more and tend to let the little things go. We make the most of the moments we do have together and don’t want to waste any of them by fighting. We focus on the good because we know what’s important.
  4. I don’t like to clean up after him. I don’t think my partner has cleaned a single thing since we’ve been together. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but that’s what it feels like. He leaves his dirty clothes right next to the hamper. He leaves his used tissues all over the house. He can’t even be bothered to put his dishes in the sink. It drives me absolutely nuts. When he’s around less, I don’t have to clean up as much of his crap. And I end up liking him more because of it.
  5. He’s less cranky too, which makes me happier. It’s not just me that benefits from some time apart. My partner does too. He has ADD, which makes it impossible for him to sit still. If he’s home too much he gets antsy and restless. He feels like he always needs to be doing something and when he’s not, he’s in a bad mood. And that’s bad for both of us. He’s happier when he’s busier and not home as often. And therefore so am I.
  6. It makes me miss him. We’ve been together for a long time and we live together, so we miss each other more when we spend more time apart. It might sound awful to say this, but we get kind of bored with each other if we spend too much time together. After some time apart when we do get to see each other, I’m excited to see him and to hear about what he has to say.
  7. It gives us something to talk about. I love nothing more than to spend time with my partner. But if we’re around each other constantly, we experience everything together so we don’t have a lot to talk about. When we do things separately, it gives us something to tell the other person later. It keeps our relationship fresh and interesting.
  8. I appreciate him more when he is there. If he’s home too often, I tend to forget how nice it is having him around. Being without him reminds me not to take him and the things he does for granted. I enjoy our conversations a lot more. I also love it that much more when he takes out the trash if he’s not around to do it all the time. Overall, we have much more fun with each other because we never forget to appreciate the time we do have together.
  9. I maintain my individuality. My partner and I do things separately just as often as we do things together. It’s important to accomplish our own goals and to reconnect with ourselves. It lets us nurture our own identities and not depend on each other for every single thing. No person can fulfill another person’s every need, so time for other relationships is crucial too. Spending time apart as individuals makes us happier people, and consequently, we’re happier as a couple.
Kelli loves to write about lots of different topics, especially relationships, parenting, health, and fitness. She is excited to share her experiences!