I never try to get revenge on a partner who’s hurt me or cheated on me, even though I must admit I’ve been pretty tempted in the past. Instead, I focus on moving forward. I don’t try to be classy to impress the guy I’m walking away from, I do it because that’s the type of woman I want to be.
I don’t beg for closure.
Yeah, closure’s really important. I want to know what happened and what made the guy move on, but if he’s not willing to give me that closure, he’s the one who lacks class. I’m not going to degrade myself by begging him for answers. If he wants to leave, he can be my guest. I won’t be chasing after him in any shape or form.
I take the high road.
If a guy’s being a total jerk during our breakup, I refuse to play his game. He can roll around in the dirt but I won’t be joining him. I’d rather maintain my dignity as this will stay with me for much longer than the memory of what the toxic dude did to me.
I explain before I bolt.
If I just want to get out of the relationship ASAP because the guy’s really bringing me down, I don’t just run away. I explain to him why I’m leaving. He can throw a fit and call me every name under the sun, but what’s important for me is to treat the person I’m dating with the same respect I want them to give me. It’s about having some good karma in the chaos.
I fade out instead of ghosting him.
I was once tempted to ghost a guy who was totally toxic for me but I knew I’d regret it, not because I cared what he thought of me but because I didn’t want to be that type of person. I’ve been ghosted and it really damaged me. However, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with gently fading out in certain situations, like when the guy won’t take the hint that I want things to be over and I’ve tried to make it crystal clear. Still, it’s about doing it in a gentle way.
I avoid social media for at least two weeks.
I make it a post-breakup rule that I avoid all social media for about two weeks after the relationship ends. This is so that I don’t make any rash decisions like updating my Facebook status to share with the world just how messed up I’m feeling during a particularly low moment. Cringe.
I don’t resort to name-calling.
I think name-calling is one of the most childish and toxic things to do, even during a bad breakup. It just comes across as totally mean and I don’t want to lose my classiness by resorting to such dirty measures.
I keep a diary of all the things I wish I could’ve said.
I want to scream and shout at the guy if he’s hurt me. I want to tell him what his friends really think of him. I want to tell him I regret dating him based on things he did four years ago but I don’t. Instead, I keep a diary of all the uncensored things I feel and think and wish I could say. I find that often when I re-read what I’ve written, I’m glad I never expressed them with my ex. He probably wouldn’t even have cared to hear them anyway.
I only tell my BFFs about what he did.
It’s a small world and I don’t want word getting out about what my ex did or how much I hate him, so I make sure that I only keep the info for a select few in my life. In that circle of trust, I can say what’s really on my mind and deal with the breakup in a healthier way.
I don’t play the friend card.
When breaking up with someone, I don’t promise them that we can be friends to numb the rejection a little. Why would I do something so stupid? That just screws me over when he wants to hang out and chat and I just want him to GTFO of my life. Plus, he’ll see soon enough if I’m lying about wanting to be friends, and I don’t want to leave a bitter taste in anyone’s mouth. If I have the courage to end things with someone in person, surely I have the courage to say I don’t want to be friends.
I break up in person.
I don’t break up with someone via text or email, even though that sounds lovely to me. It just takes the pressure off and makes things much easier, but no. I know that the decent thing to do is tell the guy how I feel in person. I don’t want to be “that ex” who had no respect and ended things in a one-sentence text. I’m better than that.
I don’t fight fire with fire.
One guy I dated cheated on me and that’s what ended our relationship. I was so tempted to cheat on him to make him get a taste of his own medicine but I’m really glad I didn’t. I would’ve just made things so much worse, and it just would’ve made me look as nasty and pathetic as he was. I knew I was much classier than that, so I told him to GTFO of my life instead and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. At least I don’t have to look back with any regrets.
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