I Can’t Orgasm & I’m Okay With It

I Can’t Orgasm & I’m Okay With It ©iStock/AZarubaika

Not all of us had the “sex talk” when we were younger — many of us had to figure out men (and our own bodies) on our own. Nevertheless, the one thing I’ve never quite mastered is how to have an orgasm. In fact, I’m pretty sure I physically can’t come at this point — but I’m actually okay with that.

  1. I never know when I might finally come. There are statistics that show that older women have more orgasms than younger females. Sometimes, the ability to finish doesn’t come until later on in life, which means I have lots to look forward to in the future. The anticipation of not knowing when I will have an orgasm makes me more I Can’t Orgasm & I’m Okay With Itaroused during sex because I know how amazing it would feel.
  2. It gives me motivation to learn more about my body. Orgasming is all about knowing what turns you on, and when the release doesn’t come naturally, I’m encouraged to keep trying until I piece together the puzzle. My body is complicated and it requires certain things in order to achieve completion.
  3. It makes me appreciate the act of sex more. Since I’m not constantly focusing on the finish line, I immerse myself in sex way more because I’m determined to make my partner feel ecstasy. No matter what, I get the same in return. My spouse and I are a team that works together to make sure both of our bodies are pleasured.
  4. I don’t have to come to be satisfied. It’s not like I’ve never orgasmed before during sex. It’s just not something that comes naturally to me. Since I know I’m capable of orgasming, I don’t worry about never experiencing it again. I enjoy sex for what it is, which is complete awesomeness.
  5. I’m more willing to experiment. Certain sexual positions feel better than others, and that’s why I’m always eager to try a new one. The longer you’re in a relationship, the better you get at sex because you know what positions your significant other prefers the most. And you have more of a reason to engage in foreplay; you never know when the feeling might strike.
  6. I’m open about what feels good (and what doesn’t). I’ve been in enough relationships to know that the sex will only be good if you communicate with your partner. Everyone’s bodies are different, and it’s important that you openly express your feelings. The more you tell your spouse, the more likely he will be able to make you climax.
  7. As long as my partner finishes, I feel fulfilled. Seeing and hearing him orgasm, knowing that I was the reason, makes me feel like I did my job. Sex is a way to connect with your partner and let your barriers down. Having an orgasm is simply an added benefit.
  8. It makes me more confident in my sexual ability. The more I practice sex, the better I get and feel about it. As long as I know I am putting 110 percent effort to making me and my spouse feel the best when we’re tangled under the sheets, I’m happy.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia